


he's got a boyfriend, anyway

by rebelvigilante



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn, Falsettos - Lapine/Finn (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Cheating, Domestic Violence, Drug Abuse, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, M/M, Modern AU, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Relationship Abuse, marvin falls in love and wants to save him, this gets pretty dark eventually so please make sure to read the notes for trigger warnings!!!, whizzer has an abusive druggie bf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 37,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25037059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelvigilante/pseuds/rebelvigilante
Summary: ...but that boyfriend is the biggest asshole on the face of the earth, and marvin becomes determined to help end that relationship and to give whizzer the love he deserves.
Relationships: Dr. Charlotte/Cordelia (Falsettos), Marvin/Trina (Falsettos), Trina/Mendel Weisenbachfeld, Whizzer Brown/Marvin, Whizzer Brown/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 156
Kudos: 117





	1. birthdays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys!! thanks for clicking on my fic! before we get into this fic, though, i have some things to say. please do NOT skip this note if you’re going to read this fic, because it’s very unlike anything i’ve written before and this is pretty important.
> 
> first off, trigger warnings. later parts of this fic are going to be pretty dark. it’ll include: cheating, drinking, drug use (not from canon characters!), relationship abuse (mental, verbal, and physical), and violence. i’ll make a note at the beginning of each chapter that includes the heavier warnings - basically everything other than cheating, because that’ll be referenced in most chapters lmao. 
> 
> second, if it wasn’t already obvious, this fic is going to be pretty angst heavy. obviously not all of it will be 100% angst and there will be a happy ending, i can already promise you that, but it isn’t going to be all sunshine and rainbows and such. i’d like to make it known that i am NOT trying to glorify anything - this fic is about the struggles of being in and leaving an abusive relationship and the healing that comes along with it. abuse of any kind whatsoever is not okay, and should never be condoned. this being said, i ask that any and all readers call me out and let me know if i write something that could be seen as bad, problematic, or glorifying - anything at all! i don’t want to be that person, i don’t want to hurt others, so please PLEASE let me know if i’ve done anything wrong. if necessary, i’ll delete the entire fic - i don’t want to glorify anything or do anything bad.
> 
> finally, all inspiration and quotes are taken from the band the 1975. i’ve loved their music and had the idea for this fic for a while, but i wanted to educate myself on correctly writing abusive situations before i actually started writing. 
> 
> again, please please please let me know if anything i’m doing is wrong. i love you all, and i really hope you enjoy this fic!

_and she said, “it’s your birthday, are you feeling alright?”_

_yeah, you wanna find love, then you know where the city is._

_‘the city’ - the 1975_

* * *

Marvin’s eyes blinked open slowly at the sound of the loud alarm. It used to bug him, the incessant loud beeping that only got quicker and louder the longer that he chose to ignore it. Nowadays, he didn’t think twice about it. His hand reached over and slapped along the side table until it eventually hit the alarm and the beeping finally stopped. He had half a mind to roll over and go back to sleep, to ignore the responsibilities that came with being a grown man with a job and a wife and a son. Speaking of his wife, she was probably already awake. Already awake, making breakfast and getting ready to take their son to school. 

Trina Cohen, his wife, was a wonderful woman. Thirty-four years old, gorgeous, kind hearted, and a good stay-at-home mom. Their son, Jason, was thirteen. He was a sweet kid, but perhaps he and Marvin couldn’t get along well. Perhaps Marvin couldn’t get along well with anyone.

After what felt like years of staring up at the ceiling, Marvin forced himself out of bed and up to start his day. He grabbed his outfit, whatever suitable clothes he pulled out of his closet first, and made his way to the bathroom. Brushed his teeth, ran a comb through his hair, freshened up, and got dressed. Things he didn’t even think twice about doing anymore. It was all just a part of a boring morning routine.

“Good morning, honey,” his wife greeted gently as he trudged into the kitchen. As expected, she had cooked. Jason sat at the table, scrolling on his phone as he picked at his breakfast. Trina offered Marvin a plate of food and a mug of coffee. “Happy birthday.”  
  
Birthday. Right. Today, Marvin was thirty-six.

“Thanks.”

He sat down at the table with his breakfast and took a drink of his coffee. The last probably thirty years of birthdays were shit. Marvin wanted a change. He didn’t want another shitty birthday, and he knew that’s exactly what it’d be if he spent it like he had been. 

Trina sat down, too. She had a mug of coffee herself, and fiddled with the handle. Breakfasts were weird. Marvin hated breakfasts.

“I’m going on a trip,” he said, matter of factly, after a few moments of silence. Trina looked over at him. Jason lowered his phone too, curiosity behind his otherwise blank expression. “With friends from work. For my birthday.”  
  
Trina gave him a strained smile. “That sounds fun,” she commented. “Where to? How long will you be gone?”   
  
He thought of the PTO he had. A lot, considering that he tried not to miss work for anything. Work was miserable, yes, but so was life at home. The marriage was loveless and although he loved his son, his son didn’t love him back. At least when he was away, working, he knew that he shouldn’t expect any love to come from it. 

“The city. A week,” he decided, before he really gave himself enough time to process the words. “We leave today, I’m going to go pack.”  
  
His family sat there and watched as he stood up, abandoned his breakfast, and returned to the bedroom. Marvin grabbed his suitcase from the bottom of the closet and threw things inside. He didn’t pay attention to what, exactly, and didn’t stop until the suitcase was full. Surely he’d have enough clothes to put together a week's worth of outfits. He called into work and told his boss that he was taking a week off. He hung up before he got a response, pocketing the cell phone and grabbing his suitcase. 

Marvin hardly took the time to say goodbye to his family. Trina started for a goodbye kiss, but he was already grabbing his car keys and walking out the door. _Goodbye, Rochester,_ he thought, as he tossed the suitcase into the backseat. _I probably won’t miss you._

Driving was something he felt neutral about. He didn’t hate it, but he didn’t love it, either. Most people he knew had strong opinions on it. They loved it, because they felt freedom when driving. They hated it, because there was a potential of wrecks or they hated the traffic. Marvin didn’t care. He only really drove when he went to work and came home, or if he had to take or pick up his son for something (but that was usually Trina’s job). Driving, just like waking up and getting dressed, was simply an everyday routine. 

Two hours into the trip, however, his opinion started to change. Maybe he hated driving. 

Everything was the same, it felt like he’d been going in circles, and he still had another three and a half hours to go. Well, three and a half hours plus whatever time would be spent stuck in traffic. Hopefully none, but he did live in New York and was travelling to a more widely populated part of New York. Traffic, unfortunately, was inevitable. 

The travelling part felt like an eternity. Alone in a car, from one part of New York to another, tons of traffic along the way, and absolute shit on all of the radio stations. At this point, Marvin was starting to wonder if this really was how he wanted to spend his birthday. He was starting to wonder why he thought doing something special for his birthday was a good idea anyway - or, alternatively, wondering if he’d even thought it was a good idea to begin with. But he was doing it, he’d driven so long, there was no point in turning back now. He wondered if his psychiatrist would be proud of him for pushing himself beyond his comfort zone. Probably not, considering that it left his wife and child home alone. Except, in that case, it probably _did_ excite his psychiatrist - just in a way Marvin would much rather not think about. 

He found himself pulling into the parking lot of some luxury hotel, wandering inside and getting himself a suite. He tried to convince himself that he deserved it, that it was a birthday present from himself, that he had the money for it so he may as well. The room was expensive, but it was nice. Big, luxurious. Nothing like the house he lived in. Nothing like his bedroom at home. It was nearly seven o’clock by the time he was completely checked in. It was too late to do anything incredibly exciting, but way too early to go on to bed. Marvin dropped himself into one of the inevitably expensive recliners and pulled out his phone, searching for things to do. What felt like endless scrolling eventually led him to the address of a gay bar not too far away. Maybe he’d get lucky. He stood up again, put his shoes back on, and headed out again. 

***

The club was huge, loud, and full of men. Marvin probably seemed like a foreigner in a scene like this, but it wasn’t his first time in a gay bar. Far from it, truthfully. He’d been meeting men for about a year now, all behind his wife’s back, all without his family’s knowing. He knew that he should probably feel bad about it, but he didn’t. He used to, when he first started cheating, but it didn’t phase him much anymore. He used to be nervous, used to get worried he’d get caught. Hell, now, he wondered what it would be like to be caught. What Trina would say or do. Maybe they’d get divorced. 

Huh. Divorce. That was a thought. 

He pushed his way through a crowd of men, most of them at least a few years younger than him, only stopping when he got to the bar. He ordered whiskey, and his eyes wandered the building as he waited for it. Most of the men in attendance were good looking. Dressed for clubbing, bright smiles, dancing with other men. Marvin wasn’t quite interested in any of them. He downed the whiskey when it was given to him, then ordered another. 

“Hey, hot stuff.”

Marvin turned. A man - tall, blonde, green eyes, bright smile. He blended in perfectly with all the other men here. “Me?” he murmured. 

The man laughed at him. “Yes, you,” he said, poking Marvin’s shoulder. “I’m John. Want to buy me a drink?”

Because Marvin didn’t have anything else to do, he gestured to the empty stool beside him and bought John a drink. Not even an hour later, John was in the passenger’s seat of his car and they were headed back to the hotel. 

They kissed in the elevator. John toyed with the buttons on Marvin’s shirt. It wasn’t anything special. 

When Marvin woke up the next morning, he was alone. The bed was empty, and there wasn’t even an imprint or any warmth beside him. Another year marked with a shitty birthday. He laid there, staring up at the unfamiliar ceiling, and began to wonder why he even tried anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, writing three chapters in a day
> 
> so this one was kind of short and lame, but i promise things will start to kick off next chapter! this was more of an introductory type thing and so on. to tell you the truth, i have always hated starting fanfics. once i get into them, i adore writing them, but there’s something about beginnings that bore me.
> 
> regardless, i’m really excited about this fic. it’s something i’ve never done before, so i hope it turns out well! again, as mentioned in the beginning note, please do call me out if i do anything wrong. the last thing i want to do is look like a bad person!! 
> 
> please take care of yourselves and have a lovely day! thanks for reading and i’d love to hear your thoughts :’)
> 
> \- isaiah <3


	2. cordelia’s diner

_ with a face straight out a movie scene _

_ or a magazine, you know what i mean _

_ ‘she way out’ - the 1975 _

* * *

Monday was awful, and Marvin was determined to make sure that Tuesday didn’t turn out nearly as bad. He didn’t have work, which meant that he could’ve slept in, but he didn’t. He was up at seven in the morning, almost like some twisted kind of an internal alarm clock, and couldn’t go back to bed because he’d upset himself by thinking about how not even a handsome stranger would want to stay in bed with him for anothing longer than a quick fuck. He sat up, bare feet cold against the wooden floor, and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. 

He got out of bed and padded into the bathroom for a shower, to better wake him up. The bathroom was large, entirely too large for a lone man like him, but he supposed that’s what he got into when he made the decision to get one of the more expensive luxury suites to treat himself for the start of his thirty-sixth year of living. He showered, brushed his teeth - the whole ‘get ready’ routine, blah. Marvin threw on a pair of jeans and a hoodie, shoved his wallet and phone in his pocket, and slipped on his shoes. It was only eight in the morning, but he was sure there was  _ something  _ to do in New York City at eight in the morning. 

Like breakfast. He could use something to eat, and there was nothing like a greasy breakfast from a restaurant for a decent start to someone’s day.

Marvin decided on walking, because walking through New York City seemed like a better idea to him than driving. There wasn’t really on-foot traffic like there was on the road. He walked until he got tired of it, then turned into the first restaurant he came across.

It was a cute little diner called  _ Cordelia’s.  _ He’d never heard of it, which meant it was a local business, which meant it had about a 50/50 chance of being either delicious or disgusting. He entered, and was seated almost immediately. A cute redhead brought him a menu and mumbled something about a waiter going to come around and take his order in a minute. After she grimaced at him, Marvin decided that maybe she wasn’t so cute after all.

She’d been correct, however. Exactly one minute later, a young man in a sunflower yellow apron came around the corner. “Hey there. I’m Whizzer, I’ll be your waiter this morning,” he greeted. Marvin only looked up at him when he said his name -  _ Whizzer  _ \- and his breath nearly caught in his throat. He was beautiful, and Marvin didn’t think that about men often. They were handsome or attractive, sure, but this man was actually pretty. Pretty, but somehow still masculine. He wore a smile that half looked like he was genuinely happy to be here and half like he severely wished he could be anywhere else, and Marvin wasn’t quite sure which partial he found to be more ironic. “Can I start you off with something to drink?”

“I’m Marvin.”

The kid stared at him, one eyebrow raising and his smile turning to be more amused than anything else. “That’s great,” he teased. “What would you like to drink,  _ Marvin _ ?”

There was something in the way Whizzer said his name. Marvin couldn’t put a finger on it. “Coffee,” he mumbled, turning his gaze back towards the menu. “Black. No cream or sugar.”   
  
“I do believe that’s what taking coffee black means,” he said, nodding. “Black coffee, extra absence of cream and sugar, coming up.”

And then he was gone. When Marvin looked back up, it was as if Whizzer had never been there. He didn’t see him walk away, didn’t see where he’d ran off to. Obviously, he was in the kitchen now - or taking someone else’s orders or something - but Marvin found it odd that he was gone as soon as he’d come. Almost like John from the previous night. He scoffed at the thought.

The difference was that Whizzer, somehow, had already affected Marvin. He couldn’t put a name to the feeling, but there  _ was _ a feeling and it was enough for Marvin to feel… unsure. So unsure that he had forgotten to look through the rest of the menu and suddenly the kid had reappeared at his side with a mug of coffee. 

He set it down in front of him, before producing a notepad and a pen out of one of the pockets on his apron. Upon looking closer, Marvin noticed that the apron had a little sunshine on it with the name of the diner written in a cutesy cursive font in the middle of the sun. “There’s your bitter ass coffee,” he said, clicking the pen. “Are you ready to order?”

The truth was that, no, he was not ready to order, but Marvin wasn’t about to embarrass himself in front of someone as good looking as Whizzer was. No, instead, he decided to stall. “Do you talk to all your customers like that?”   
  
Whizzer’s head cocked to the side. “Like what, mister Marvin?”

“With the colorful vocabulary.”

“Sorry, does the word ‘ _ ass’ _ offend you? Would you like to speak to my manager?”

On a normal day, this guy would’ve pissed Marvin off. And perhaps, if this guy was anyone else, it  _ would’ve _ pissed him off. But Marvin wore a grin and raised his eyebrows. “No,” he answered simply. “I just wanted to know if this is what I should expect if I ever come back.”

He shrugged. “Special customers get special treatment,” Whizzer sent him a wink, before gesturing to Marvin’s menu with his pen. “What are you eating? I don’t have all day, there are other customers I need to say ‘ass’ to.”

“What do you recommend?” Marvin ended up asking. 

Whizzer shrugged, “I’m biased because my best friend runs the place, but everything I’ve ever had has been great.”

“And what have you had?”

He laughed, rolling his eyes. “You have no idea what you want to order, do you?”

Marvin paused. He sighed, “I don’t.”

“Okay. I’ll surprise you, yeah?” Whizzer suggested, smiling. “Sweet or savory?”

He was lost in the kid’s smile. “Uh… whatever you think is best.”

Whizzer raised his eyebrows, but nodded. “Alright. But you can’t hate me if you don’t like what I get you. And no discounts. And no, you won’t be allowed to speak to my manager, because she’ll side with me anyway.”

Marvin raised his hands, “I’m not one of those... Karens, or whatever you call them. As long as it’s edible, I won’t complain.”

“Gotcha. Be back in a jiffy,” he hummed, dropping the notepad and pen back into his pocket and then walking off.

This time, as Whizzer left, Marvin watched. It wasn’t a bad view - but, for once in quite a while, he almost felt bad for thinking like that. Not because of Trina, but because he felt as though it was disrespectful to Whizzer himself. Marvin shook his head and brushed a hand through his hair, opening up the news app on his phone and scrolling through it as he awaited his mystery breakfast. 

The news was boring. Not to say it was ever particularly interesting, in Marvin’s opinion. In Marvin’s opinion, the news was either incredibly boring, incredibly depressing, or incredibly angering. Today, possibly to his relief, it was simply boring. He set his phone aside and sipped the coffee, his eyes scanning over the diner. He hadn’t quite looked at it when he’d first come in, but it was a cute little place. Primarily painted white, with yellow accents that matched the aprons the waitstaff wore. Not colours he thought about often, but they looked good and worked well in a tiny, homey diner such as this one. Plus, Whizzer looked good in that shade of yellow. Marvin couldn’t help but to think that Whizzer would look good in anything, especially when he sported that movie star quality smile. 

A plate was placed in front of him. Toast, topped with eggs and spinach, and two strips of bacon on the side. He looked up, meeting Whizzer’s eyes again. Up until now, he’d never thought twice about brown eyes. Trina had brown eyes, and they were just brown. Whizzer’s eyes were…

“Well? Aren’t you going to try it?”

Marvin paused, glancing at his plate and then back up towards the waiter. “Are you going to stand here and watch me eat it?”

Whizzer grinned. “You have to try it in front of me so I can see if you actually like it or not,” he insisted. “You may not be a Karen so we wouldn’t hear anything from you, but I want to see how you  _ really  _ feel about it. So go on, try it.”

They looked at each other for a moment, before Marvin rolled his eyes and took a bite of the toast. He didn’t even have time to say anything before Whizzer smiled at him and walked away, tending to another customer across the room. It was good. Almost better than the things Trina made for breakfast. Almost.

As he ate, he noticed that Whizzer seemed to disappear again. He didn’t come back, either. The redhead from before was the one to clear his table and to bring him his bill. Another young woman collected the money and told him to have a nice day. Marvin didn’t like either one of them as much as he liked Whizzer. Maybe it wasn’t fair of him to make a judgement like that before he knew any of them well, but he didn’t dwell on it long enough to care. 

Marvin left the diner, sticking his hands into his pockets as he returned to the bustling sidewalks of New York City. There was so much to do, and yet he didn’t really want to do any of it. He’d planned this little week-long getaway on a whim, without thinking about it. His psychiatrist told him to stop doing things without thinking about them, that it only ever seemed to get him in trouble or irritate him. Marvin scoffed at the thought, because what did Dr. Mendel Weisenbachfeld know about what irritated Marvin and what didn’t? The thought festered in his mind a bit longer and he decided that, maybe, Dr. Mendel Weisenbachfeld was right. However, it was the same guy that told him to consider doing things he normally wouldn’t, to try living life differently than he was used to. He probably wouldn’t have gone on this trip if he took longer than a few seconds to think it through. 

He wandered the streets for a few hours. Stepped into stores for a few moments before getting bored and turning away. He made the decision that New York City was more fun for those who weren’t antisocial or those who came with someone they enjoyed spending time with. Marvin, who had come alone and wasn’t exactly antisocial but wasn’t  _ pro _ -social, decided that it wasn’t quite for him. He turned around, starting to head back to his hotel, but pausing when he reached Cordelia’s Diner again. 

Marvin watched through the windows, blue eyes scanning the scene to see if he could spot a certain waiter from before. Unfortunately, he couldn’t. He supposed that lunch would just have to be room service gathered from his all too fancy hotel. 

The luxury was wearing off already. It was hard to enjoy something like this when you were miserable anyway. He hadn’t even really looked through the rest of the hotel - he was sure there were things like pools and hot tubs and saunas and workout rooms and other things, but none of those were fun alone. Workout rooms weren’t fun  _ ever _ . Marvin thought back to John, to the previous night, and wondered if it would’ve been worth it to get the guy’s phone number. 

He wondered if it would be worth it to get  _ Whizzer’s  _ phone number. It was pretty obvious that the kid wasn’t straight, and it seemed almost like he’d been flirting with him. It could’ve just been Marvin being hopeful, searching for some kind of luck that his otherwise very unlucky life had managed to muster up, but he thought that perhaps he had a chance. Perhaps he could spend the rest of his week in New York with Whizzer. 

Marvin made a mental note to himself to return to the diner tomorrow for breakfast, before clicking on the hotel’s television. If they didn’t at least have ‘luxury’ channels, something other than  _ Animal Planet  _ and terrible horror movies, he would probably lose his mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter two is out... already 👀
> 
> and they have Met. it’s still kinda slow right now, i know, but if things go as planned it’ll pick up more after the next chapter. that’s all i’ll give you there :) 
> 
> i hope you liked this chapter! please feel free to comment and let me know your thoughts, i always love seeing what readers have to say. 
> 
> remember that black lives still matter, please take some time to go sign petitions! if you’re able to do more, please do (and please be careful if you do!) but everyone can sign petitions!! 
> 
> have a great day/night! 
> 
> \- isaiah :)


	3. afterglow

_ and this is how it starts: _

_ take your shoes off in the back of my van _

_ yeah, my shirt looks so good _

_ when it’s just hanging off your back _

_ ‘sex’ - the 1975 _

* * *

He was back. Nearly midnight, and Marvin found himself stepping foot back into the club he’d been in just yesterday. He was bored. If anything, this at least gave him something to do - the hotel room was boring and he couldn’t be bothered to look around for something else to do, especially with it being so late in the night. Here, he could drink, he could watch handsome men dance. Maybe he’d talk to a guy. Maybe the guy would come back to the hotel with him. If he was super lucky, maybe the guy would stay until morning. Probably not. Marvin had shitty luck. 

He sat at the bar. Ordered a whiskey. Drank it and looked around. 

It was busier now than it had been last time, probably because it was later now. More people had the time to get off work and break away from daily life, to come out and spend their Tuesday night clubbing. At least Marvin wasn’t the only one with a sad life like that. Except, really, Marvin felt like his situation was more pathetic. Lying to his wife and son about a birthday trip with the friends he didn’t have, just so he could waste each night drinking whiskey alone in a club until he could find a decent looking man to take back to his too-big-for-one hotel room, only to more than likely wake up completely alone. It was depressing. He didn’t want to think about it any longer. 

Marvin sighed, knocking back the last of his whiskey and ordering another when the bartender looked his way. 

He decided to try talking to a few men, considering that he had gone mostly unnoticed just sitting there. He got ignored or told to go away. At the most, he got in a hello and was responded to with an “I have a boyfriend!” Looking down at his ratty grey hoodie and old jeans, compared to the general fashionable outfits nearly everyone else wore, he supposed that it shouldn’t be too surprising. That, combined with his general aura and what people called his resting bitch face, he figured that he was probably pretty unapproachable. He tried a few more times, met only with a few more rejections (and being outright ignored). He’d just given up and turned around to head back to his original seat at the bar when his eyes landed on a young man of familiarity - Whizzer, the waiter from Cordelia’s Diner. 

While he wasn’t surprised that people were ignoring him, he  _ was  _ surprised that Whizzer seemed to be sitting all alone. He’d come across as a people person and even if he wasn’t, he was unbelievably gorgeous. He was surely the type that should have men - and, hell, probably  _ women _ too - all over him. If others didn’t see his good looks, they had to be crazy. Or blind, or something. Marvin grabbed his glass and, after a moment of contemplation, dropped himself into the stool next to Whizzer’s. “I didn’t know you were old enough to drink,” he asked, in a playful greeting.

Whizzer startled, nearly jumping, before turning and looking Marvin over. He recovered himself with an awkward laugh. “Huh?”

“Are you sure you’re old enough to be here?”

“Are you sure you’re  _ young  _ enough to be here?”

Marvin couldn’t stop himself from grinning. “Fancy seeing you here. Almost like we can’t get enough of each other.”

He watched as Whizzer took a sip of his drink, some fancy and colorful cocktail. Something too advanced and involved for Marvin, who would much prefer to stick with his whiskey. “Almost,” he hummed. He reached over and tapped Marvin’s hand, pointing to the ring on his finger. “Does your spouse know you’re here?”

Shit. He hadn’t even thought of that. Marvin supposed that he probably should’ve removed his wedding ring before he went to try and pick up men. He coughed, “Uh… no. She’s, uh, in Rochester, anyway.”

“She?” Whizzer asked, eyes sparkling in amusement. “You’re married to a woman living in Rochester while you’re at a gay bar in New York City?”

Marvin gave him an awkward smile. “Yeah. Unfortunately,” he said. “I don’t really like her. I don’t really… like  _ girls _ .”

He wasn’t sure why he was telling Whizzer that. It was probably pretty obvious, and even if it wasn’t, it wasn’t really any of his business, was it? They’d only just met today, and all Marvin knew about him was that he was a waiter in a diner and apparently his friend owned the place. Yet here Marvin sat, practically telling the guy his whole life story. 

Whizzer, however, simply nodded. “You might be surprised at how often that happens around here,” he said, vaguely gesturing to the dance floor where other men mingled. “I’ve slept with  _ so many  _ married men.”

“Oh?” Marvin raised an eyebrow. “So you aren’t against it.”

Whizzer gave him a look. 

“Would you like to come back to my hotel with me tonight?”

He laughed, which Marvin immediately registered as yet another rejection, but then he finished the rest of his cocktail and stood up, grabbing Marvin’s hand to pull him up as well. “Lead the way, Romeo.”

***

Marvin had been starting to think that Whizzer was better than John. Then he woke up to an empty bed again. He didn’t have too much time to get himself upset over it, though, before he heard noises from outside of the bedroom. As he woke up more, he began to smell coffee. Either Whizzer was still here, or someone had broken into his hotel room. At this point, Marvin figured that he would welcome either. 

He forced himself out of bed and wandered into the kitchen area. He stopped in the entryway, just watching for a moment. 

Whizzer was, indeed, there. He sat in one of the kitchen chairs with a mug of coffee in hand, wearing nothing but his boxers and a shirt that he must’ve stolen from Marvin’s suitcase. He seemed lost in thought, like his body was present but the rest of him was somewhere else. Trina got like that occasionally, but Marvin never thought much of it. But with Whizzer sitting there in front of him, brown eyes staring unchangingly into his cup, Marvin found his thoughts start to wander. What was Whizzer thinking about? How long had he been up? How long had he been sitting here like this? 

“I thought you would’ve left,” Marvin murmured, taking another step into the kitchen. 

His eyes snapped up suddenly, meeting Marvin’s gaze. There was something behind them at first, some kind of emotion that he wasn’t used to seeing. He couldn’t place a name to it. Then, they lit up in amusement again. Marvin was used to that one already. “Is that your polite way to tell me to get out of your hotel suite?” he asked, raising his mug to his lips. His voice was still soft, still groggy. Marvin assumed that he’d only been awake long enough to make the coffee and sit down. 

Marvin shook his head. “No. Actually, I’d love it if you could stay. Do you work today?”

Whizzer’s eyebrows rose, “Yeah, but the evening shift. Don’t you have things to do today?”

He shrugged. 

It was silent for a moment, before Whizzer’s eyes dropped back down to his mug. “There’s more coffee in the pot, if you want some.”

Marvin nodded. He got himself a mug of coffee, then sat down across the table from Whizzer. The kid was quieter this morning than what he was used to seeing from him. Granted, he’d only seen him in the diner once and then at the bar, but still. Those two times, it seemed like he always had something snarky or sarcastic to say. 

They drank coffee in silence. Marvin finished his mug first, setting it down on the table and looking over at Whizzer again. “Is that my shirt?”

“Please, as if I’d own something this ugly on my own,” Whizzer murmured around his coffee cup. He wasn’t even drinking it, just had it held up to his face. 

Marvin laughed a bit. He couldn’t tell if Whizzer was being serious or not. It was just a grey t-shirt, was it really that ugly? He drummed his fingers on the table. “So, uh,” he mumbled. “Are you going to stay?”

Whizzer seemed to consider it for a moment, before setting his mug down as well. “This was just a one night stand. You know that, right?” he replied, finally meeting and holding Marvin’s gaze. “This can’t go anywhere.”

“Why not?”

“Well, you’re married, first of all,” he mumbled. “And I have a boyfriend.”

Although he knew he really shouldn’t be, Marvin was surprised by that admission. Just last night he was thinking about how Whizzer probably had people all over him, and now he was surprised to hear that the guy had a partner. “Well, you don’t really love him, do you? If you’re cheating on him.”

Whizzer gave him a look. “ _ Yes _ , I love him,” he said, eyes turning down at his coffee again. Marvin couldn’t help but to think that it sounded the same way it did when he said that he loved Trina. “He just doesn’t want to have sex often. I know it’s wrong, but…”

“But?”

He shrugged it off, downing the last of his coffee and getting up to put the mug in the sink. “It doesn’t matter,” he said. He sighed, turning to face Marvin. “This can’t happen again. I have a boyfriend.”

“Have you cheated on him before?” Marvin asked. He remained in his seat, fiddling with the handle to his own mug. 

Whizzer didn’t answer. He left the room, going back to the bedroom. Marvin could hear shuffling for a moment, and then Whizzer came back dressed once again. “I have to go,” he said, slipping his jacket on. 

Marvin sighed, standing and putting his mug in the sink. “When do you start your shift at the diner tonight?”

The taller man stared at him, before shaking his head. “Do you hear me, Marvin? We can’t do this again,” he said. “ _ One  _ night stand. Our night’s up. My boyfriend would- would probably kill me, if he found out.”

Something about that didn’t sit right with Marvin. People used that as an exaggeration sometimes, and Marvin himself was no stranger to it, but there was something behind the way Whizzer said it. Something that…

“Five.”

Marvin was startled out of his thoughts. “What?” 

“ _ Five,”  _ Whizzer sighed, slipping his shoes on. “My shift starts at five. I need to go.”

And then he did. Marvin just stood there and watched as Whizzer stuffed his hands in his pockets and left the hotel room. He sighed, dropping himself back into the kitchen chair. He’d definitely wanted Whizzer to stay over until morning at least, but this wasn’t how he’d been hoping it would go. 

He’d been hoping that, maybe, Whizzer would stay. They could go out and get lunch together. Get to know each other. Even if it was just as friends, because lord knows Marvin could use more of those. Lord knows he doesn’t really have  _ any.  _

Marvin sat there for a moment, before getting up to go get dressed. He supposed he ought to find something to do until five, until he could go back to the diner and see Whizzer again. He pulled clothes out of his suitcase and looked them over. They weren’t great, sure, but were they really  _ that  _ ugly? Whatever. He gathered his outfit and got dressed. He looked at himself in the mirror, tried to fix his hair at least a little bit. Whizzer’s bedhead had been cute - a mess, but one that actually looked good on him. Marvin’s… Well, his hair looked like an actual bird had gone and made a nest in it. He fixed it enough to make it look more like actual hair than a nest, then made his way out to the living room once more. 

He opened his phone, and pulled up Safari.  _ ‘Things to do to pass time in New York City.’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a chapter a day???? maybe! i used to upload like that a lot, once upon a time. maybe i’ll get back into it, but definitely do not take this as a promise for a chapter every day lmao.
> 
> uhhhhh i would say happy 4th but really? no. fuck america, coming from someone unfortunately living in america. this country does NOT deserve to be celebrated.
> 
> i hope you enjoyed the chapter! next one will be a little ✨insight✨ on whizzer’s life, because we’ve only seen marvin’s perspective so far. please let me know what you’re thinking so far - and i love seeing theories for things so if you have any ideas on what next chapter will be like, please let me know!! 
> 
> as always, thank you so much for reading. i hope you have a wonderful day! 
> 
> \- isaiah :)


	4. okayness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW LIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:  
> \- mentions of drugs/alcohol and drug/alcohol use/abuse  
> \- physical violence  
> \- relationship abuse  
> \- manipulation  
> \- mentions of abusive parenting

_ i remember when i found you _

_ much younger than you are now _

_ ‘heart out’ - the 1975 _

  
  


* * *

The thing was, Whizzer didn’t really want to leave. Not necessarily because of Marvin - but really, maybe,  _ partially  _ because of Marvin. Mostly because if Alec was awake, then he’d ask why Whizzer was gone and where he’d been, and he didn’t have an answer. Telling the truth was absolutely something he could  _ not  _ do, but there were only so many excuses he could come up with. Maybe, if he was lucky, Alec would be under the influence of some substance, something that could make him gullible enough that Whizzer could spout some bullshit about a friend needing help with something at eight in the morning on a Wednesday and he’d just believe it. Though, really, maybe he’d be better off hoping that Alec was sober. Because, although he wouldn’t be as easy to lie to, Whizzer could probably get off with just a verbal berating. About how he was stupid and should’ve said where he was going and how it wasn’t fair that Whizzer would put friends before his boyfriend of nearly eleven years now. 

Eleven years. Fuck. How had Whizzer put up with this shit for  _ eleven  _ years? 

He took in a breath, the chilly NYC morning air, and sped up his pace. He needed to get back to their penthouse, quickly. There was a good chance that Alec was still asleep, especially considering how out of it he’d been when Whizzer snuck off to the bar the night previous, but there was also a chance that he wasn’t. There was an even bigger chance that Alec would wake up in the time it took him to walk from Marvin’s hotel to their apartment. 

Maybe he should’ve taken a cab. It was too late for that now. He was only about ten minutes away, now. He glanced at his watch. He’d probably make it.  _ Just take a breath, Whizzer _ . 

It felt simultaneously like years and only mere seconds before Whizzer was finally standing in front of the building. He made his way up, pulling his keys out of his pocket and unlocking the door. He held his breath as he stepped inside. 

Silence. He was still asleep. Thank  _ god.  _

Whizzer closed the door behind him, hung his keys up, and put away his shoes and jacket. He silently dropped himself onto the couch. He considered turning on the TV, but decided to let himself bask in the silence because there was no telling how long it would last. Sometimes he wondered how the hell he ended up here. 

He thought back to the past - ten, almost eleven, years ago. When he was sixteen, bright eyed and naive, willing to do just about anything if it got him out of the house and away from the family that didn’t care. He was sixteen, and Alec was twenty, and he’d promised to get Whizzer away from his family. He promised that he loved him, and that they’d move into a bigger city and start a better life. They’d only been dating for a few months and yet, when Alec offered to move them from Omaha to New York City, Whizzer had immediately agreed. He’d been blinded by what he thought was love, looking at Alec and their new life together through rose tinted glasses, and now he was here. 

Now he was twenty-six, nearly twenty-seven, and the only things keeping him here were money and fear. Alec was rich, from purchasing and reselling drugs at a higher price - at least, selling the ones that he didn’t end up using himself. Using, abusing. Same difference when it came to Alec. When Whizzer really thought about it, Alec treated  _ him  _ the same way he treated drugs. 

Use. Abuse. Sometimes he’d stop, but it always went right back to the way it started. A cycle, that Whizzer felt he was going to live by until he died. The only question, really, was  _ how  _ he would die. And how early. 

“You’re up early.”

Whizzer didn’t startle this time. The gruff, deep voice came from behind him as Alec stepped into the living room from the stairway. 

“Yeah. Couldn’t sleep,” he murmured in response. 

Alec hummed. “You’re already dressed,” he said, as he came around and dropped himself on the couch next to Whizzer. “Did you go somewhere?”

He considered lying entirely. He considered partially lying. For a moment, he considered telling the truth. Yeah, right. “Cordelia needed my help with something,” he settled on saying. “I had to run to the diner real quick.”

“What’d she need?”

“A delivery came in. No one else was there to help her unload.”

The room fell silent for a moment. Whizzer took a breath, turning his attention to the floor. Alec turned on the TV and flipped through the channels. He held an arm out, sending a half smile Whizzer’s way, “C’mere. You don’t have to sit so far away.”

Whizzer scooted in closer, letting Alec wrap his arm around him. Sometimes, in moments like this, he was able to almost convince himself that things were okay. When his boyfriend was sober, when they sat on the couch together and watched television - even if it was only the morning news. This was fine. This was okay. Maybe this was even good. 

But the problem was that it only took one thing, one  _ tiny _ thing, to end it. If something Alec didn’t like cane on TV, this was over. If Whizzer shifted in a way that irritated Alec, this was over. If he said one wrong word, this was over. It was all over, and any sense of  _ okayness  _ would be completely over. 

He tried to relax. He tried to get himself off the edge, because it wasn’t helping anything regardless. 

Alec spoke up again. “Where’d you get this?”

This time, Whizzer  _ did  _ startle. “Uh- get what?”

A tug at Whizzer’s t-shirt. Whizzer glanced down at it, and felt the color drown from his face. He was still wearing the t-shirt he’d stolen from Marvin that morning. He didn’t have a chance to answer, didn’t have the time to pull himself back together, before Alec was speaking again. The okayness was gone. 

“Where’d you get this shirt,  _ Whizzer?  _ Were you sleeping around? Sneaking around with other men?” He asked. His arm tightened around Whizzer’s shoulders. 

“No,” Whizzer lied. “It’s Cordelia’s. I spilled something on my other shirt and it stained, she gave me this.”

Alec scoffed. “So you’re  _ ruining  _ the clothing I’m buying for you?”

“Alec, you’re hurting me.”

“Shut up.”

Whizzer silenced himself. 

He let go of him and stood up - only to grab Whizzer’s wrist and pull him up too. Whizzer was taller than Alec, but Alec was stronger. He probably could’ve pulled his wrist away without too much trouble, but that would only anger him even more and Whizzer would really like to avoid being hit today. 

“Where’s the shirt? What shirt did you ruin? What, did you throw it away? Ungrateful piece of shit,” Alec spat. When Whizzer stayed quiet, he shoved him back onto the couch. “Go make breakfast. I’m hungry, and it better be good.” 

He walked away. Back up the stairs. Whizzer had a feeling that he was about to go get into one of his stashes - the weed, the cocaine, the alcohol, whatever else he had that Whizzer wasn’t aware of. Maybe all of it. It wasn’t rare for him to combine things. Really, Whizzer was surprised that he hadn’t died from it yet. 

Whizzer pushed himself back up from the couch and made his way into the kitchen. Sometimes, he considered making him breakfast and poisoning it, or something. He’d never do it, obviously - he wasn’t a murderer and he didn’t truly wish death upon anyone - but sometimes he’d let the idea play out in his head. The idea of slipping a few drops of poison in with Alec’s eggs, of watching him eat them and choke and keel over. What would he do next? Leave? Call the police? It didn’t matter. It wouldn’t happen. 

He made an omelette. He cut up fruit to go with it. He left the plate on the table and carefully slipped up the stairs, past the room Alec called his “office,” and into the bathroom. Whizzer looked at himself in the mirror. 

What the hell was he doing? Why was he still here?

He sighed, stripped, and got into the shower. 

  
  


***

  
  


_ “I love you.” _

_ “You do?” _

_ “Of course. And I’m going to get you out of there.” _

_ Whizzer’s heart fluttered. Sixteen years old, and he’s never been in love. Until recently, when he fell in love with a grey-eyed stranger who promised him everything.  _

_ He packed his bags and snuck out his bedroom window that night. Eleven, nearly twelve. His parents weren’t asleep yet, despite the late hour, but they were too busy at each other’s throats to notice that their only child was sneaking out. Whizzer wondered if they’d ever notice he was gone. Maybe they’d be happy. He knew that  _ he’d  _ be happy.  _

_ That night, the night he left his parents’ house to move to New York with his boyfriend, was the first time he’d ever felt free. Little did he know that it was about to be the last time, too.  _

_ It was a full day’s drive. Whizzer slept in the passenger’s seat through a good portion of it. When he woke up, Alec told him how cute he was when he slept. Alec told him how in love he was, and Whizzer told him that he was in love, too.  _

_ Things were okay.  _

_ Until they weren’t.  _

  
  


***

  
  


Whizzer must’ve spaced out while he was showering - he was only brought back to reality by a loud bang against the door. The water had run cold. He was shivering. How long had he been in there?

“Get outta there, before I break the door down,” Alec barked, words slurred. 

Although Alec was the one who owned the penthouse and Alec was the one to cause the damage,  _ Whizzer _ would’ve been the one to have to pay for it. That’s just how Alec handled things. Whizzer got out of the shower, dried off, got dressed, and opened the door. 

Alec practically shoved Whizzer out of the way, slipping himself into the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind him. Whizzer’s shoulder stung from where he’d hit the wall, but he ignored it. He made his way down the hallway and into their bedroom and got dressed for work. He didn’t care what time it was, he didn’t care that he still hours before his actual shift, he just needed to get out of the house. 

He left a note. He doubted Alec would be able to see straight enough to read it, but at least Whizzer would have the evidence to prove that he said he was leaving. He went downstairs, slipped his shoes on, and left. 

  
  


***

  
  


_ The smack of a hand against a cheek, the sound ringing out against the empty room. Whizzer was stunned into silence.  _

_ “Don’t you  _ dare  _ argue with me, do you hear me?” _

_ “What the hell-” _

_ “Shut up!” _

_ Whizzer was seventeen. He’d been living with his boyfriend in the middle of New York City for a year and three months. Alec had temper issues, but never like this. Never once had he laid a hurting hand on him like this.  _

_ Alec had been gone all night. He didn’t tell Whizzer where he went. All Whizzer had said was that he was worried because he hadn’t heard from him in hours, that Alec had disappeared without a single word and that he hadn’t answered any texts or phone calls.  _

_ He stayed persistent. “Have you been drinking?” _

_ “What’s it to you? What if I  _ have  _ been drinking? What are you going to do, dump me?” _

_ His words echoed through the room. He was loud - yelling, screaming. He was taking steps closer to Whizzer, and the teenager found himself subconsciously taking a few steps backwards. “What if I do?” he snapped back.  _

_ Silence.  _

_ Then Alec was crying. “No,” he murmured. “Please don’t leave me. I love you, Whizzer. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”  _

_ Whizzer hesitated… Then stepped forward and pulled him into a hug. “Okay. It’s okay.” _

_ It wasn’t.  _

  
  


***

  
  


“Are you alright, Whiz?” 

Whizzer blinked, shaking his head a bit. “Uh, yeah. I was out late last night, I’m tired. Kinda spacey, I guess.”

Cordelia cocked her head, looking him up and down. “I would say so,” she murmured. “You do realize that it’s only noon, right? I’m pretty sure you don’t work until five today.”

“And? I’m your best friend, maybe I just wanted to come hang out with you while you do your stuff.”

Although Whizzer told Cordelia nearly everything, she didn’t know the entire truth. She knew that Whizzer and Alec were together, knew how they met and that they lived together, but she’s only been told good things about him. Whizzer was almost positive that she had suspicions, but she’s only met him once and he happened to have his act together on that occasion. She was good at seeing through people, but Whizzer was even better at lying. 

She rolled her eyes at him, but she was smiling, “I think it’s more just that you want to be nibby and steal taste tests of things.”

“Maybe! But when have you  _ ever  _ turned that down?”

“Never,” she grinned. She pulled a tray of muffins out and handed one over to Whizzer. “Try this. It’s a new recipe, I want to see if it passes the  _ Whizzer Test _ before I put it on the menu.”

Whizzer took the muffin and looked it over. “Wouldn’t it be better to run it by Charlotte first? You know I’ll eat just about anything,” he said, before taking a bite. 

She shrugged, “Perhaps. But she had to work late last night and was asleep when I left this morning. I wasn’t going to wake her up just to make her try a muffin.”

“So you have no qualms waking  _ me  _ up to try something, but you won’t wake your fiancée up?” he asked. “Me, who had to walk ten minutes to your apartment to try a chocolate chip cookie? When you have a fiancée  _ living with you  _ who could-”

Cordelia cut him off, waving her hand dismissively. “The muffin. Do you like it?”

“Right, right. Yes, it’s very good. Carrot cake?”

“Yeah!” She beamed. “You can tell?”

“Mhm. It’s great, definitely add it to the menu,” Whizzer nodded, breaking a piece off of the muffin and tossing it into Cordelia’s mouth as she stirred a soup. 

Sometimes, he thought about just leaving Alec and never going back. Cordelia and Charlotte have always told him that their house was open to him whenever he needed or wanted. He took them up on it a few times, when things got too rough. He always told them it was just a little fight with Alec, but never went into detail. Sometimes, he thought about what life would be like if he dumped Alec and went to live with his lesbian best friends. 

He leaned against one of the counters. “Can I hang out in here with you until five?”

She smiled at him. “Duh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in one day bc i’ve been writing to avoid my asshole family 😌💅🏼
> 
> anyway!!! things are Happening. 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter! as always, please let me know how you felt!! have an AMAZING day/night, i love you all!
> 
> \- isaiah :)


	5. talk

_all we seem to do is talk about sex_

_got a boyfriend, anyway_

_‘sex’ - the 1975_

* * *

Five o’clock. Marvin was ready to go - except he paused at the door, because maybe he would look too desperate if he was there so early. He wondered how late Whizzer would work. Maybe Marvin should go closer to the end of Whizzer’s shift - so he could walk him home, or something. Was that ridiculous? Probably. It was probably ridiculous to go at all, considering how much Whizzer seemed to not want to see him again. But maybe that was just how Whizzer was. 

According to Whizzer, they wouldn’t sleep together anymore. That didn’t mean they couldn’t be friends. Something about Whizzer intrigued Marvin, although he couldn’t quite place _what_ it was. Something about the way he seemed all snarky and cocky and sarcastic and confident, yet there was _something_ behind it that maybe _wasn’t_ so confident. Or maybe he was looking too far into things. Marvin had half a brain to ring up Mendel right now, to ask him if he was being stupid or not. He could see that entirely backfiring on him, however, because although confidentiality was supposed to be a thing, he and Marvin’s wife have become pretty friendly recently. The thought pissed him off for some reason, so he immediately forgot about the idea of talking to Mendel. 

He lingered at the door for a few moments longer, before turning around and sitting on the couch again. He didn’t have anything to do. Although he’d google searched for things to do, all of them sounded like they’d be more fun if he had someone to do them with. It was pathetic how lonely he felt. He didn’t think about it at home, because he worked all day, ate dinner with his family, then went to bed. On weekends, sometimes he’d try to do something with Jason. Some days, he saw Mendel for an hour. Some days he just sat at home, but even then Trina and Jason were there. Now, he was completely, utterly alone. 

Today was Wednesday. He had the rest of the day, then four more days, then he had to be back home. Part of him was ready to go now. The other part wanted to figure out a way to be happy here. Maybe it was because of Whizzer. Maybe he was being completely ridiculous. 

He finally left the hotel around six thirty, and walked slowly enough that he arrived at the diner by a little after seven. This time, an older woman seated him. She told him that a waiter would be around soon, but he spoke up before she could walk away. “Is Whizzer working tonight?”

She seemed almost surprised, but nodded her head. 

“Can I request him to be my waiter?”

“Uh… Sure, if he isn’t busy,” she murmured, before wandering off. 

The diner was small enough, there weren’t a ton of tables, and Marvin figured that one more wouldn’t be too many. Plus, looking around, there were only two other tables of people here. It was him and two cute, younger straight couples. Marvin definitely didn’t fit in… But it felt like he never did, anyway. 

He watched as Whizzer came out from what he assumed was the kitchen area, giving one of the couples their drinks and pulling out his notepad to take their order. Marvin noticed that he didn’t seem to be acting as sarcastic and snarky as he did around him - and he saw that as a good thing. Maybe he was special. 

Well, probably not, but a guy could dream. 

As he finished taking the order and walked away from the table, the older woman from before approached him. She spoke to him, motioning a finger in Marvin’s direction. Blue eyes met brown, then Whizzer rolled his eyes, but he wore an amused smile. He took the order to the kitchen, then slid into the opposite side of Marvin’s booth. 

“I’m surprised you’re late,” Whizzer teased. “I expected to see you here the very second it hit five o’clock.”

Marvin watched him for a moment. Should he tell the truth? Play it cool? “I lost track of time,” he ended up saying. 

Whizzer laughed, “So you _planned_ to come as soon as the clock hit five?”

“I… I planned to come when I got hungry,” he murmured. 

“Right, okay. What do you want to drink?”

“Surprise me,” Marvin said. “With everything.”

Whizzer raised his eyebrows but nodded, sliding out of the booth again. He started to walk away, but Marvin stopped him. 

“Take a break. Come eat with me.” 

Whizzer gave him a look, then disappeared back into the kitchen. 

  
  


***

  
  


“He’s here.”

Cordelia looked up from the stove, eyes blown wide in a mix of confusion and surprise. “What?” she asked him. “Who?”

“The _guy,_ ” Whizzer emphasized, as if it made it obvious. “The one that’s been flirting with me here. I just told you about him like an hour ago.”

Okay, so maybe he hadn’t told her the _entire_ truth. Maybe she only knew about what happened while in the diner. A little exclusion of the truth never hurt anyone. 

“Oh!” She nodded. “And? What did he order?”

Whizzer leaned against the counter, “Well, first off, Gladys was supposed to wait on him but he _requested_ me. And he said for me to surprise him, and that he wants me to take a break and come eat dinner with him.”

She turned to a tray of food, assembling something and handing it off to Gladys as she stopped by the kitchen window. “Maybe this is a hint from the universe to dump Alec,” she murmured, sending him a side gaze. “Take a break, Whiz. I don’t condone cheating, but this _technically_ isn’t cheating if you’re just making pleasant conversation and getting to know each other, right? Go sit with him. I’ll bring out your food.”

Whizzer just stood there and stared at her, until Cordelia pushed him out the kitchen door. “Go on!”

Well, he didn’t have much of a choice, now. He sighed, trailing a hand through his hair and approaching Marvin’s table. Marvin wasn’t even really paying attention - he was looking in the opposite direction, as Gladys delivered meals to a young couple. 

Whizzer knew them, they were regulars. They were both very sweet and very in love and sometimes Whizzer wished his relationship with Alec could be like theirs. Genuinely in love, going out for breakfast or dinner dates every few days. He shook the thought aside, sliding into Marvin’s booth. 

“You’re back,” Marvin said, as he turned to face him. 

“Yeah. Hi,” Whizzer nodded. “I’m on break.”

He seemed almost surprised, “Really?”

If Whizzer had known that Marvin hadn’t actually expected to do it, maybe he wouldn’t have. Except that he was hungry, and being able to take a break and eat was a good idea. It just then occurred to him that, aside from the coffee that morning and the muffin Cordelia gave him, he hadn’t eaten that day. He usually made breakfast for himself when he made Alec’s, but there was something about the idea of eating with a drunk, drugged up version of Alec that got rid of any of his appetite. “Mhm,” he answered, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. “Cordelia said she’d bring us out food, so I have no idea what we’re going to be having, but she’s a great cook so I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.”

Marvin nodded. “Okay,” he said. “So… Is that Cordelia like, the name of the place?”

“Yeah, she named it after herself. I told her how cliché it was but she didn’t care,” Whizzer answered, smiling. “She does all the cooking. I’m pretty sure she only hired me because I’m her best friend and resident taste tester. No interview or anything.”

“Resident taste tester?”

He shrugged. “She runs everything through me, and sometimes her fiancée, before she puts it on the menu.”

“Ah,” he nodded. He drummed his fingers on the table. “I’ve only heard you say good things about her. Has she made anything gross before?”

Whizzer chuckled, “Uh… Yeah, but only, like, traditional Jewish food.”

Marvin’s eyebrows raised. “Are you guys Jewish?”

“I am. Well, half. And her fiancée, Charlotte, is. She isn’t,” he answered, pausing briefly before adding on, “which is really obvious when she tries to cook traditional food. Hanukkah with her as the main chef is _not_ a great time.”

Marvin laughed and nodded, “Right, okay. Note to self, don’t order canadelach from Cordelia.”

“That’s probably one of the worst ones,” Whizzer grinned, shrugging. 

Holding a conversation with him was surprisingly easy. Not that Whizzer had ever tried to carry on a relationship with a one night stand, mostly because of how risky it was, but he never expected that it would be so easy. 

They talked for a while. Marvin asked how Whizzer met Cordelia, and he explained the story of meeting her in a grocery store, when she asked him what spice he thought would best go with chicken. Somehow, it blossomed into a friendship. Really, Whizzer didn’t even remember the _entire_ story. Whizzer asked Marvin about his wife, and what he was doing here. He was told that his wife was named Trina, that they had a son named Jason, and that Marvin was on a business trip. Whizzer didn’t fully believe it, but he didn’t have time to question before Cordelia brought out their food. 

A milkshake with two straws and a large plate of french fries. Like they were sixteen-year-olds on a first date. Whizzer gave her a look, but she smiled brightly at them, “Enjoy! It’s on the house.”

“Cordelia-”

“ _Enjoy._ ”

And then she was gone. Whizzer was going to have some strong words with her later tonight. 

Marvin thought it was funny. “Does she know about last night?” he asked, after she’d wandered off. 

Whizzer ran a hand through his hair and picked up a fry. “Something like that.” She was lucky he loved her. 

They talked some more and ate their cliché dinner. At least the fries were good - and the milkshake was strawberry, which was Whizzer’s favorite, so he supposed he couldn’t be too mad. 

As they neared the end of the meal, Marvin drummed his fingers against the table again. “Would it be possible for me to…” he trailed off, only continuing after Whizzer raised his eyebrows at him. “See you again? Maybe give you a call?”

He hesitated. On one hand, tonight had been nice. He wouldn’t mind doing it again. On the other, Whizzer didn’t even want to _think_ about what Alec would do if he happened to find out. “Marvin… You’re a great guy, okay? Tonight was fun. But we _really_ can’t keep doing this. You’re married, you have a son, and I have a boyfriend.”

“Right,” Marvin mumbled, a sigh following his words. “As friends, then? Nothing more.”

Whizzer wasn’t sure how to explain that his boyfriend didn’t like him being friends with other men. “Maybe. I don’t know,” he murmured. “I need to get back to work, though, okay?”

He didn’t give Marvin time to answer. He got up, picking up the empty dishes from their meal, and disappeared into the kitchen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i switched to whizzer’s pov halfway through and fully intended to switch back to marvin but like. whizzer is SO MUCH easier for me to write. idk
> 
> anyway! i really hope you all enjoyed this chapter! the next chapter is going to be A Lot, so prepare yourselves 👀
> 
> as always, thank you so much for reading! i love reading your comments and seeing how you feel about the fic so far :’)
> 
> ily all and have a great day, please go sign some petitions! 
> 
> \- isaiah :)


	6. the boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW LIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:  
> \- mentions of drugs/alcohol and drug/alcohol use/abuse  
> \- physical violence  
> \- relationship abuse

_ now you say you’re gonna quit it _

_ but you’re never gonna quit it _

_ ‘chocolate’ - the 1975 _

  
  
  


* * *

“One more. One more, then I’m done.”

He’d been saying that for the past hour. 

Whizzer anxiously drummed his fingers against the bar table, his gaze landing practically everywhere except for on the man - his  _ boyfriend  _ \- sitting across from him. He was still all drugged up from whatever he’d done this morning, yet for some reason they kept letting him get drinks. They kept letting him get drunker and drunker. Whizzer hadn’t had anything, considering the fact that he didn’t really want to die in a fiery car crash because of driving home while not sober. If it happened to Alec, whatever - but he wasn’t going to risk his own safety. Sometimes, his own safety felt like it was at high risk anyway, just from living with Alec. 

He hadn’t died yet. Sometimes it was debatable whether it was luck or a curse. 

“Babe,” Alec slurred. “Baby. Look at me.”

Their eyes met. 

“I love you.”

Whizzer hummed, glancing across the room again. He lost track of how many drinks Alec had drank. 

“Whizzer. I love you.”

Just  _ hearing  _ the words from him made Whizzer nauseous. Saying them was an even more difficult feat. “Are you almost done?” he asked instead. “You said you would be done before you got that one.”

Alec didn’t answer. Instead, he chugged the rest of whatever he had in his glass and got up, stumbling, to go order another. Whizzer wondered what would happen if he just up and left. If he got up, wandered out the door, took Alec’s car and never came back. For a moment, it sounded wonderful. Just him, alone, no more worries about being caught with his boyfriend’s drugs in the house, no worries about getting yelled at or shoved or hit if he did something that wasn’t perfect. Then Alec returned, spilling part of his drink as he flopped back into his seat. 

Looking at him now made Whizzer question how he’d ever found this man attractive. Thinking about the way he’ll have to clean out the car when they finally went home, about how he’ll have to clean up any other messes that will inevitably be created by Alec. He took a breath and looked away again. His eyes met familiar ones. 

Marvin was lingering by the bar, right next to where Alec had ordered. He smiled at Whizzer, until he noticed Alec. He had an expression of… understanding? Concern? Whizzer didn’t want to think about it much. He kept his own expression blank, not about to give him any more of an insight into the relationship than he’d already gotten. He turned to look at Alec again, and found himself even more disgusted now than before. 

“I’m going to the bathroom,” he lied. Alec probably didn’t comprehend it, anyway. “When I’m done, we’re going home.”

Alec mumbled something. Whizzer couldn’t comprehend it, but he didn’t try too hard to. 

  
  


***

Marvin hadn’t expected to see Whizzer there again. Did he come in hopes that Whizzer would be there? Yes, maybe - but he’d doubted it even as he opened the door and stepped into the bar. But there he was, at a table a little ways away from the bar. They caught each other’s glances and Marvin smiled at him, started to raise a hand to wave, before his attention was grabbed by the man across from Whizzer. He wasn’t surprised. Whizzer was a catch and, as he’d been reminded a few times, had a boyfriend. Getting a better look at the guy, however, Marvin couldn’t help but to question if  _ this  _ man was Whizzer’s boyfriend. If so… he could definitely do better. 

He didn’t have much time to examine the guy, not that he’d wanted any more. Whizzer was suddenly up right next to him and was grabbing his wrist, pulling him off down the hall. He didn’t stop until they got to the restrooms, closing the door behind them after he pulled Marvin in. “Do you come here every night?” he asked. 

Marvin chuckled, mostly out of awkward embarrassment. “Uh… Yeah. I guess I have been,” he shrugged. “Do you?”

“No,” Whizzer answered simply. Shortly. Marvin didn’t know him well, but he could already tell that something was wrong. He watched as the taller male turned to face one of the mirrors, busying his hands with fixing his hair. “You weren’t looking for  _ me,  _ were you?”

A pause. Whizzer’s eyes turned away from the mirror, looking at Marvin, urging him to answer. Marvin sighed, “Not exactly? I was, uh,  _ hoping  _ that you’d be here, but I didn’t expect you to be. I just wanted to talk to you again, though. Just talk. As friends.”

He turned, leaning against the sink and crossing his arms across his chest. “We did talk as friends earlier today,” he pointed out. 

Another pause. Marvin was hesitant, his mind racing on things to say. “Are you okay?”

Whizzer gave him a look. Marvin couldn’t figure out what it meant. “Yes. I’m fine. What did you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know. Just… Things that friends talk about?”

“Well, I’m out with my boyfriend right now-”

“ _ That’s  _ your boyfriend?”

This time, Whizzer hesitated. Brown eyes dropped to the ground, watching himself scuff his shoe against the dirty tile floor. “Yeah. He’s not usually like that, he’s just…  _ really  _ drunk.”

The fact that Whizzer felt the need to mention that this wasn’t how it usually was made Marvin think. “How much has he had?”

“Lost count,” Whizzer mumbled with a small shrug. “But it doesn’t matter. I told him that when I’m done in here we’re going home.”

Marvin nodded slowly. “Are you sober? Do you guys need a ride?”

“I’m sober,” Whizzer said. He sounded almost like he regretted it. “I’ve got to go. I work morning shift again, and I really ought to get him home and in bed anyway.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Silence. Whizzer didn’t go anywhere. Marvin didn’t either. Whizzer didn’t even look like he _wanted_ to go. “Do you have your phone?” When Marvin nodded, he motioned for him to hand it over. 

Marvin raised his eyebrows, questioningly, but slipped the device out of his pocket and into Whizzer’s hands. He paid more attention to Whizzer’s facial expression rather than what he was doing with the phone. He was pretty, as always, but he looked tired. Marvin wondered if that was due to the fact that he was out late, or if it was a different kind of tired. 

“Here,” he spoke up again, pulling Marvin out of his thoughts as he handed the phone back over. “Call me later.” 

And then he was gone. 

Marvin remained in the bathroom for a moment, looking at the new contact in his phone. ‘ _ whizzer brown _ ,’ it read, followed by a red heart emoji. He wondered if there was significance between the heart or if it was just for fun. He stepped out of the bathroom, too - just in time to watch Whizzer try to pull his boyfriend out of the booth they’d been sitting in. 

He couldn’t hear what they were saying over the loudly thrumming music, but just watching what was going on was enough for him. 

  
  


***

“Alec,  _ please.  _ We need to get home, I have work.”

“No. I’m not done. You’ll wait for me.”

He pulled his arm away. Despite the fact that he was drunk, high - and whatever else - he still retained all of his strength. Perhaps even more of it. That was the scary thing about drugs, the scary thing about someone who was already stronger and easy to anger being on drugs that would heighten both of those things. 

Whizzer sighed, taking Alec’s hands. “Please? Can we go home?” he asked, attempting a gentler approach. “I’ll do anything you want.”

“Anything?” he asked, and Whizzer started to believe that he’d got him. 

He nodded, giving a fake smile. “Mhm. Anything. Whatever you want.”

“Then get me another drink.”

“This one isn’t even empty-”

Alec threw the remains of what was in the cup at him. He’d seen the movement coming just soon enough that he was able to cover his face before anything got into his eyes. Luckily, the rest of the club was loud enough and busy enough that he wasn’t making  _ too  _ much of a scene. Whizzer glanced around quickly and made sure that no one was looking. No one that he saw, at least. He took the glass away from Alec and set it on the table, before he’d have the chance to bash it over his head or something. 

He grabbed Whizzer’s wrists. Tight. 

“Alec-”

“Shut up and buy me another drink.”

Whizzer tried pulling away. He didn’t even budge. “How about I make you a drink at home?”

Silence. Alec let him go, only to shove him to the door. “If it’s nasty, I’ll kill you.” 

He simply nodded, quickly heading out the door. He didn’t have any doubt in his mind that Alec meant the threat. Honestly, Whizzer was surprised that it hadn’t even happened yet. How the hell has he survived this long? How much longer did he have left?

  
  


***

  
  


Marvin’s blood boiled. Yeah, sure, maybe the guy really was just drunk, but that wasn’t a good enough excuse for the behavior he’d just witnessed. On top of that, Whizzer had what looked to be genuine fear written all over his face and the way he carried himself as they’d left. He considered calling Whizzer, telling him not to go home with that asshole, but decided against it for now. If anything, it’d probably get him in more trouble. Probably anger the guy even more, which was the last thing he wanted to do. 

Instead, he took a deep breath and left the club too. There was no trace of Whizzer in the parking lot. Maybe that was a good thing, because Marvin wasn’t sure if he’d be able to contain himself around the man he called his boyfriend. 

Although Marvin was no longer in the mood to drink and bring a guy home, he wasn’t ready to go back to the hotel, either. He got into his car and sat there for a moment, before driving himself back to the diner. Hopefully it hadn’t closed yet. And if it had, hopefully Cordelia was still there and would be willing to talk to him.

Marvin wanted to get some things straight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew! i want to kick alec’s ass!
> 
> anyway... here it is! a little later than i intended but i got ✨distracted✨ halfway through. also there were so many pov shifts but i had to do it for it to work the way i wanted it to.... but uhhh i hope you enjoyed it anyway!!
> 
> thank you for reading and i look forward to hearing any thoughts/opinions! let me know if there’s anything i’m doing wrong of if there’s anything you want to see! 
> 
> have a great day/night!
> 
> \- isaiah :)


	7. truth ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW LIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:  
> \- mentions of relationship abuse

_she was letting me know_

_we share friends in soho_

_‘paris’ - the 1975_

* * *

  
  


“No one died today. That’s about all the good news I have,” Charlotte said with a shrug, taking a sip of the milkshake that sat in between them. “And, of course, that I’m with you.”

Cordelia smiled brightly. She loved moments like this. After closing, when she and Charlotte just sat together and ate the leftovers from the workday. It always felt wasteful to throw them away and she was completely against the idea of serving something that wasn’t fresh, so midnights spent at the diner together were nearly an every day event. “You’re cute,” she said, reaching across for Charlotte’s hand. 

The brunette rolled her eyes, playful, as she laced their fingers. “Let me be sappy and don’t say anything about it, Dee. You know you love it.”

“And you know you love when I point it out,” Cordelia insisted. 

“Mhm. Maybe,” She squeezed her fiancée’s hand. “How was your day? How many people died here?”

That was a running joke, one of many that they had. Charlotte, being a doctor, saw entirely too many deaths on a day to day basis. Cordelia, a chef in a diner that she owned herself, saw none. They joked that, one of these days, someone would end up dying of a heart attack or a stroke or something, but it hasn’t happened yet. Despite the joking, she sincerely hoped that it never happened because even though her fiancée was a doctor, she wouldn’t have the slightest idea on what to do. 

The blonde hummed, pretending to think about it for a moment. “Well, Whizzer just about died,” she answered with a smile and a shrug. “There’s a guy that’s been coming here recently. He told me that the guy’s been flirting with him, so I might’ve made him take a break and have dinner with him.”

Charlotte raised her eyebrows, “Isn’t he still with Alec?”

“Well, yeah, but I just thought it might be a good idea to talk to other people,” She shrugged. “Alec gives me bad vibes. You know that.”

She nodded, squeezing her hand again, reassuringly. “I know,” she said. “Me too. But you know that Whizzer doesn’t really listen to us. If he did, he would’ve dumped Alec a while ago. I’ve been just about as blunt with him as I can, for not knowing their entire situation.”

Cordelia sighed, nodding. “I just worry that you’re going to see him in the hospital someday. I know he said that Alec doesn’t hurt him but… He’s been acting more and more fishy recently,” she murmured, running her free hand through her hair. “Today, he didn’t work until five. He was there at noon. He said he just wanted to hang out with me.”

Right as Charlotte started to speak up again, the bright lights of headlights shone in at them through the window. They both squinted against it, turning to look at the car. It wasn’t one that either of them recognized. “I could’ve sworn you had the closed sign up when I came,” Charlotte murmured. 

“I did,” the blonde nodded. She stood up, pressing a quick kiss to the other woman’s temple, before approaching the door and opening it to peer outside. 

It was too dark, and combined with being blinded by the headlights, Cordelia couldn’t see anything. She heard a car door open and shut, headlights turning off and engulfing the outside world in darkness. “Uh, hi! We’re closed right now, but-”

The person got close enough that she could see him from the light inside the diner. It was the guy that Whizzer had been sitting with. “Hi, sorry, I know,” he mumbled, stuffing his hands into his pockets awkwardly. “I just, uh, saw you sitting in there and I wanted to know if I could talk to you for a minute? You _are_ Cordelia, right?”

Although she knew that she probably shouldn’t, she also knew that there most likely wasn’t going to be another opportunity for her to get to talk to him - at least not while she was working, not while away from Whizzer. That, and he seemed to be somewhat distressed. “Sure,” she said quickly, stepping back and holding the door open for him. “We can talk as long as you’d like. What’s your name? Whiz neglected to tell me that much.”

“Uh, it’s-”

“Marvin?”

Cordelia looked at him, then over at her partner. 

He seemed just as surprised, his eyes looking over Charlotte for a moment. “Charlie?” he finally asked. “Holy shit. My parents told me you moved to Alabama.”

Charlotte laughed a bit, shrugging. “We did. I hated it,” she answered, getting up from the booth and pulling Marvin into a hug. “What are you doing _here_?”

Cordelia took a step back, just watching them. She hadn’t expected this, obviously, but it was sweet. She remembered that Charlotte always talked about friends from her past, about how she figured she’d never see them again. She always said that it wasn’t a big deal, but Cordelia knew deep down she wanted to see them again. Marvin was a name that came up surprisingly often. 

“Right, uh,” Marvin started, as he returned the hug. “Well, I live in Rochester. I’m just here on a trip.”

“You’re _married_?” She asked, taking his hand. 

“Wait, you’re _married_?” Cordelia echoed, turning the pair’s attention onto her. “Does Whizzer know?”

“Wait, Whizzer? What?” Charlotte looked back at Marvin. “Are you the one she was telling me about?”

Marvin coughed awkwardly, holding his hands up. “Okay… Yes, to all of those,” he mumbled. “I am married. I’ve been considering divorce for a while, but it just- hasn’t happened yet. Whizzer knows. And I know he has a boyfriend, too. He’s not really interested in me anyway.”

Cordelia cocked her head, “Uh, yes, I think he is.”

“He is?”

“Why haven’t you gotten divorced yet?” Charlotte asked, interrupting that question. Cordelia nodded in agreement, turning back towards Marvin. It didn’t matter much that they liked each other if they were both in relationships. Especially when married - that took more steps than just breaking up. 

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, uh, we have a kid. I’ve been trying to do what’s best for him, you know?”

Cordelia pulled the pair of them back to the booth, the three of them sitting down. Marvin on one side, and she and Charlotte on the other. “Do you love your spouse?”

“Not… like that. Not romantically. She’s a wonderful woman, but not for me.”

“Then it’s probably better you split anyway,” she shrugged. “He probably knows. It’ll be kind of difficult at first, but it’ll be better in the end. You and his mom will both be happier in the end, and he’ll be happy knowing that you’re happy.”

Cordelia was honestly surprised that Marvin was being so honest and open with them. It probably helped that Charlotte was here, since she was someone he knew, but it was still a shock. Especially considering that, yes, Charlotte was here, but they haven’t seen each other since they were younger. 

“Yeah. I guess. I don’t go home until Monday, I’ll figure something out,” he mumbled. “But, uh… Charlotte? What have you been up to?”

It was very obvious that he was changing the topic. She was curious to know what he’d come for originally, but she looked towards her fiancée instead, encouraging her to answer. 

Charlotte shrugged, wrapping an arm around Cordelia, “ _Getting_ married. I’m an internist. We’re considering adopting a dog.”

Cordelia leaned into her side, just listening as the two of them spoke and caught up. Marvin did some high paying office job that he apparently hated and only continued to do because of the pay. His son was thirteen years old and was named Jason, and he seemed to really care about the kid. She let them talk for a while, long enough that she ended up daydreaming for a moment, before deciding to cut in. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude,” she started. “But Marvin? Did you have something you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Right,” Marvin nodded. He took a breath, leaning back against the booth. He seemed to be thinking of a way to word what he wanted to say next. “What do you know about Whizzer’s boyfriend?”

She and Charlotte shared a glance. Charlotte was the one to answer, “Not much. They fight a lot, though. Whizzer comes to our house to spend the night sometimes if it gets too bad.”

Cordelia nodded. “Why?”

Marvin nodded slowly, “I just saw something tonight that worried me. I guess I should probably be minding my own business, but-”

“What’d you see?” Charlotte asked. 

“Uh… His boyfriend was really drunk. At least, that’s what Whizzer told me,” he said. “They were at a bar. He threw his drink in Whizzer’s face and grabbed him by the wrists, then pushed him towards the door. They were talking, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. Whizzer looked terrified.”

The blonde frowned. “Has he been lying to us?”

“Probably,” Charlotte sighed. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Cordelia wasn’t sure what to think. It was scary, knowing that Whizzer was likely to be in a dangerous situation - what could she do? There wasn’t much. She and Charlotte have spent years trying to coax truth out of him, to get him to tell them more than his vague answers. They’ve tried to convince him that he didn’t need Alec, and he always insisted that he loved him. Did he, really? “What should we do?” she asked, looking at Charlotte and then over at Marvin. 

Charlotte shrugged, “The problem is that we don’t really know enough. We could call the police, but we wouldn’t have much to tell them. And regardless, the police are _shit_ , they won’t do much more than what we can do on our own.”

“Yeah. The cops can suck my left toe,” Cordelia agreed. “We have to help him, though. Is Whizzer home with Alec right now?”

“I think so,” Marvin nodded. “That’s what he said he was doing, at least. That he was taking Alec home so that he could get him in bed and go to sleep.”

“Do you think that’s safe?”

“I don’t know,” Charlotte said. “It’s hard to say. If Alec acted the way Marvin says in public, then it's probably worse behind closed doors, right? _But_ if Whizzer is making him go to bed, then maybe he’s just asleep and not doing anything.”

Marvin drummed his fingers against the table, “Whizzer gave me his phone number. Maybe I should call him.”

“Not you,” Charlotte said. She paused, “Sorry, I don’t mean to sound rude, just– if Alec happens to see and sees that an unknown number is calling, and if he answers it and it’s a _man_ , that probably won’t end well. Either Dee or I should call because Alec knows us.”

Cordelia hadn’t even thought of that. She bit her lip, “I’ll do it. It’d make more sense for me to be calling him late at night,” she murmured. “But I think I should text first, right? To make sure it’s even safe to call.”

Maybe they were thinking too hard about it. There was a chance that Alec had just gotten irritated and was way too drunk, and now that they were home everything was fine. Maybe Whizzer got them changed into pajamas and gave Alec water and now they were asleep in bed together. But maybe… 

She pulled out her phone, opening their texts. What could she say that would make it seem normal, just in case Alec happened to see?

Charlotte leaned over her shoulder to watch, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Just ask if you can call him,” she suggested gently. 

Cordelia nodded, typing out a quick message. 

**to: whizzy <3**

_hey! are you busy? can i call?_

“Okay,” she murmured, looking back up and setting her phone aside. “I hope he answers. What’s the move if he doesn’t?”

Charlotte sighed, “I don’t know. It’s late. If he’s asleep, I don’t want to wake him up.”

“But if he’s in danger?”

Marvin finally spoke up, “Why don’t we just… wait, and see? Maybe he will respond. There’s no use panicking over something that we aren’t sure will happen.”

“Right,” Charlotte nodded. “You’re right.”

It was oddly quiet. They all sat there, eyes on Cordelia’s phone. Despite the fact that all three of them had agreed that worrying and panicking was useless, it seemed to be what they were doing. After what felt like an eternity but was really only a few minutes, her phone lit up. 

**from: whizzy <3**

_right now?_

_it’s like…….._

_late_

_go 2 bed_

At least he was acting normal over text. But after being told the possibility of him lying to her, it wasn’t enough to ease Cordelia’s nerves. 

**to: whizzy <3**

_pleaseee?_

Another moment of waiting. A minute turned into two, turned to three, then four, then ten. Cordelia’s stomach did flips, but not in a good way. 

**from: whizzy <3**

_u know what?_

_u are SO lucky that i love u_

And then Whizzer was calling _her_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> charlotte said: fuck the police!  
> and she’s right! 
> 
> anyway!! i hope you enjoyed this chapter! it’s finally getting somewhere, we’re getting into the Big Angst. lots of stuff is going to be happening from here on, so expect longer chapters and more character involvement. i’m excited, and i hope you are as well!
> 
> as always, thank you so much for reading, and i’m excited to hear what you all think of it! remember to sign petitions. say their names. acab!
> 
> \- isaiah :)


	8. phone call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW LIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:  
> \- mentions of relationship abuse  
> \- mentions of physical abuse  
> \- injuries  
> \- implied (?) anxiety

_ why don’t you speak it out _

_ instead of living in your head? _

_ ‘heart out’ - the 1975 _

* * *

  
  


Cordelia was quick to accept the call and put it on speakerphone, setting her phone down on the table in between the three of them. “Hey, Whiz,” she greeted, reminding herself to just… act natural. They wouldn’t get anywhere if she was freaking out. If she was freaking out, it would probably freak Whizzer out too, and then he wouldn’t tell them anything. She needed to act natural, stay calm, and try to keep subtle enough that Whizzer wouldn’t completely realize what was going on. She glanced up, over at Marvin then at Charlotte, and wondered if she should tell him that they were here. 

On one hand, yeah, that was the polite thing to do. Especially since she had him on speaker phone and they’d be able to hear both sides of the conversation. If she didn’t tell him and one of them spoke up, he probably wouldn’t be very happy. If she  _ did  _ tell him, he’d probably be suspicious of Marvin being there. After a moment, she decided that telling him was the best idea, but she didn’t have to tell the entire truth. “Uh, Charlotte and Marvin are here,” she said. “We ran into Marvin while we were cleaning out the diner. He and Charlie know each other from when they were younger.”

“Hi,” Charlotte greeted. Marvin mumbled something, awkwardly, in a greeting of his own. 

Whizzer’s line was quiet for a moment. She heard a click, almost like a door closing. “Okay,” he said, finally. “What’s up?” He sounded tired. Cordelia couldn’t help but to think that it wasn’t because of the late hour. He was the type to stay up all night, especially on nights that he spent at their house. She flashed back to nights where they’d stay up and watch movies all night. 

Now they needed a reason to have called him. Cordelia looked up at Marvin and Charlotte, urging them to help her. Charlotte covered for her, “We tried a new recipe. You should come to the diner to try it out.”

They could hear Whizzer scoff, “ _ We? _ Are you telling me that all three of you made something?  _ Marvin  _ helped?”

“I watched and offered support,” Marvin murmured quickly. “I’m not a chef. But they are and it’s great, so you should come try it.”

As they spoke, Cordelia realized that this was probably the best idea they could’ve come up with. It seemed realistic enough that it could possibly get Whizzer to come here, and then it would be easier to get the truth out of him. It was easier to avoid things over the phone, but there was only so much avoiding you could do in person. Except it  _ was  _ Whizzer, and he was the king of avoidance. 

“Right,” he said, holding it out for a moment. “I’ll try it tomorrow, okay? Alec just fell asleep and I’m pretty sure I’ll wake him if I open the front door.”

The three of them met eyes again. Charlotte was the first one to pull herself back from it and actually respond to Whizzer, “Can’t he just go back to sleep? Dee wakes me up when she’s leaving for work all the time.”

“Yeah, sure, but that’s different. Dee gets up and leaves at a decently respectable time. I don’t know if you read the clock or not, but it’s nearly two in the morning. And he  _ just  _ went to bed,” Whizzer returned, a sigh following his words. 

“Was he a pain to get into bed?” Marvin asked. He knew what he was doing. The girls looked at each other, then over at Marvin, and knew it was probably a good bet to let him handle the conversation for a moment. They doubted that Whizzer knew how much of it Marvin saw, but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it meant he would catch Whizzer in a lie, and then it would be harder for Whizzer to keep lying. 

There was a pause, “Uh… No. No, not really. I got him home and made him drink a glass of water, and then we laid in bed for a while. He finally fell asleep.”

Marvin seemed to consider the response, then thought through what he should say. “Really?” he said, in a genuine questioning tone. Not accusing him, surprisingly, but that was good. “I saw you guys leaving. He was putting up quite the fight.”

“Uh-” Whizzer started, then cut himself. He laughed awkwardly, “Yeah. He just didn’t want to stop drinking. But once I got him in the car, he calmed down. Anyway, if all you were calling for was to try and get me to taste your food, I-”

“Are you safe, Whizzer?” Cordelia cut in. 

Silence. Cordelia had a bad feeling, although she wasn’t exactly sure why. “What is this about?” he asked, after a few moments. “I’m  _ fine.  _ Alec can be a bit of an aggressive drunk, but he was fine when I got him home. He’s sleeping, and will be fine when he wakes up tomorrow. We’re fine. Can I please go to bed now, too?”

None of them knew what to say. This conversation wasn’t over. It was  _ far  _ from over, there were so many things that went unanswered and unasked. Really, though, Whizzer probably did have a point. It was late. He should go to bed. They all should. But the difference was that she, Charlotte, and Marvin could go to bed with no worries about getting hurt by the person they’d be sharing the bed with. It wasn’t certain that the same could be said about Whizzer. 

Whizzer apparently took the silence as an agreement. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow. Goodnight.” The line clicked dead. 

  
  


***

  
  


As soon as he’d hung up, the phone slipped out of his hand with a sad  _ thump _ against the carpet. Marvin had seen. How  _ much  _ had he seen? Had he  _ heard?  _ If so, what? And how much of it had he told the girls? And how  _ convenient  _ was it that Marvin happened to run into them after what happened at the bar? 

God. 

He slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor, knees pulled up to his chest. He stared blankly in front of him. This was what his life had come to. Scared to go to bed in his own bedroom, and scared to tell his friends the truth. Scared. He was scared. He was  _ terrified.  _

Whizzer Brown was terrified. It felt like there were no good outcomes for him. In the end, Alec would win, wouldn’t he? Regardless of what he did, whether he told everyone what was going on or not, Alec would figure out a way to make him even more miserable. Hell, he’d probably find a way to make  _ everyone  _ miserable. That was just what he did, and he was incredible at it. 

He took a breath. In, out. He closed his eyes. In, out. A few times. He counted each breath in and each breath out. He lost track of the numbers after a while, but it didn’t matter because he would just start over. Usually, it helped him calm down. This time, when he opened his eyes again, the pool of nervous nausea in his stomach had only grown. He tried again; eyes closed, slow breaths in and out, counting each one. His head spun, stomach ached, fingertips went numb. Whizzer slowly pushed himself up from the floor, dizzy, and walked himself into the bathroom to get a cup of water. He stared at himself in the mirror. 

It was pathetic how tired he looked. The color had drained from his cheeks and made his eyebags stand out more. A bruise stood out, too, against his collarbone. It could be hidden with the button ups he typically chose to wear, or even if he were to just slip on a jacket over his loose t-shirt, but right now it was possibly the most prominent thing about his appearance. Although it was new, it was already darkening and twisting into multitudes of gross colors. A large splotch of ugly blues and purples and yellows amongst otherwise perfect skin. Whizzer tried adjusting his shirt to hide it, but it only revealed another one on his opposite shoulder. He touched it, lightly, and hardly winced despite the sharp pain. He hadn’t even realized that there was one there. He supposed that meant that there were probably plenty more bruises littering his body that he didn’t know about. He didn’t want to think about them. 

Whizzer lifted some of the hair from his face, examining the bruise that was developing along his hairline. That probably explained the nausea and dizziness. At least he could hide it behind his hair. 

He grabbed an advil, downed the rest of his water, and stepped back into the hallway. His phone was lit up.  _ Four missed calls from  _ **_dee <3_ ** _. Two missed calls from  _ **_charlie!_ ** _. One missed call from  _ **_Unknown Number_ ** _. _ He let it drop back down to the floor, not bothering to return any of the calls, nor even bothering to send a text. He’d lie tomorrow and tell them he’d fallen asleep. 

After a moment of consideration, he made the decision that the couch sounded much more comfortable than the bed. The stairs, however, were a bit of a problem. He didn’t let them be. Whizzer gripped tight to the stair rail as he went down them, dropping himself on the couch as soon as he could. Despite being exhausted, he couldn’t sleep. The exhaustion was deeper than that. 

He wondered what would’ve happened if he’d gone ahead and went to the diner. He wondered what they made, if they even made anything. He wondered if they would’ve just hung out as friends, or if it would be about himself and Alec. He wondered, and kept wondering, until he passed out on the couch. 

  
  


***

  
  


“Maybe he’s asleep?” Cordelia murmured. She’d called nine times. Charlotte five, Marvin three. No answers. No texts. Nothing. 

“Maybe,” Charlotte mumbled. 

“I hope that’s what it is,” Marvin sighed. He ran a hand through his hair. “I think we need to hold off a little. I think we scared him with so much questioning, especially with the three of us together.”

Cordelia nodded. He had a point. The last thing Whizzer had probably expected was for Marvin to be hanging out with her and Charlotte. “Okay,” Charlotte nodded, “what are you thinking we should do instead?”

Marvin drummed his fingers against the table as he thought. “Maybe we should get him used to us all hanging out? I think that probably threw him off the most,” he said. “We’ll just act like normal. Like nothing’s going on. We’ll keep a closer eye on him, obviously, but quit with all the questioning for now.”

“This is probably a good time to educate ourselves, too,” Cordelia added. “So that way when we  _ do _ have this conversation again, we know what we’re doing.”

Charlotte nodded in agreement. Although it put a slight damper on things, postponed saving Whizzer immediately, it was more than likely the best way to handle it. Get Whizzer comfortable with the idea of them all being together, and ease him into telling them about what was going on.  _ Then  _ they could help him. 

Cordelia absently tugged at a strand of her hair, watching the curl straighten out and bounce back when she let it go. “Charlie, do you work tomorrow? What hours?” she asked suddenly, a lightbulb having gone off in her mind. “And are you free tomorrow, Marvin?”

“Eight to five,” Charlotte answered. 

“Yes,” Marvin said. “All day.”

She grinned, “Great. What if we all meet up somewhere for dinner? I’ll close early. We can all just hang out and get to know each other better. I know you guys apparently know each other, but I know nothing about you, Marvin. And it’d get Whizzer out and away from Alec.”

Marvin smiled a bit and nodded, “That’s smart. Do you think you’ll be able to get Whizzer on board?”

“I won’t give him a choice,” Cordelia smiled sweetly. “He works until five anyway, so I’ll make him help me close and then I’ll figure out how to convince him to come with me.”

They discussed the finer details, such as when and where they’d meet, if they’d do anything afterwards, and so on. Then they said their goodbyes and ‘see you soon’s, and all got into their cars to head to their respective homes - well, apartment and hotel. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the lesbians and marvin are THE BEST support systems and they will only get better. 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter!! as always, please let me know any and all thoughts you have about this fic, i adore reading them!
> 
> please remember to go sign petitions!! the men who murdered breonna taylor STILL haven’t been arrested. 
> 
> i love you all, thank you so much for reading and for the continued support!
> 
> \- isaiah :)


	9. night out

_don’t fall in love with the moment_

_and think you’re in love with the girl_

_‘she’s american’ - the 1975_

* * *

  
  


It was only two in the afternoon. They weren’t planning to meet up until around six. Marvin had considered ways to spend his day, but none of it seemed fun. What he was planning on doing, had been planning to do for an hour now, wasn’t really fun, either. But it was necessary. Today was Thursday. He had to leave on Sunday. Or, well, was _supposed_ to. With all the things that were going on with Whizzer, though, he didn’t quite want to. As he’d been thinking, aimlessly pacing the living room, he hadn’t realized that he’d accidentally pressed the call button. 

“Hello?” her voice crackled, startling him back to reality. “Marvin? I haven’t heard from you since you left. How’s your trip going?”

Marvin considered a variety of things to say, and ways to say them. “Trina,” he sighed. “I, uh… We need to talk.”

She was quiet for a moment. Probably thinking. “About what?” she asked. Marvin didn’t have a chance to answer. “Us? Because I… I want to talk about that, too. I was going to wait until you get home, but-”

“It can’t wait, Trin. I don’t know how long it’s going to be,” he said. He sat on the couch, running a hand through his hair. “You know I love you, right?”

She didn’t answer. 

“I do,” he told her. “I love you. But… not the way I should. And that isn’t fair to you.”

Marvin surprised himself at how calmly he was able to handle this. About how gentle he was able to be, despite the topic not being a gentle one. He heard Trina take a breath. “Are you seeing someone else?” she asked. 

“No. I’m not,” he mumbled. He supposed it wasn’t a complete lie. She didn’t need the complete truth. “But I can’t-... I don’t think we should-... I think-”

“We should divorce,” she murmured, finishing the sentence for him. 

He hadn’t expected it. He hadn’t expected her to say the words at all, but he certainly hadn’t expected her to take it as well as she seemed to be. He was speechless. 

So she continued. “I always had the suspicion. I thought that you looked at others, the way that you should’ve looked at me. Other _men_ ,” she said, taking in another deep breath. “I talked to Mendel about it. He said the idea wasn’t too wild. That he’s seen it before. Is it true? Marvin, do you like men?”

He hadn’t expected _that_ , either. He stammered for a moment, before managing to get out a proper reply. “Yeah- I, yes. I do. I like men. It’s not- because of you, though, you know that, right? I think I knew before we married. I just didn’t…”

He trailed off. She didn’t say anything. It was silent for a while. Probably only a few minutes, but those minutes felt closer to hours. Both of them were in silence, both minds racing louder than any words could’ve been. 

“You and Jason can keep the house. I’ll find a place.”

“I still love you too. I’m not… angry. Not at you.”

“Not at me?”

“At myself, maybe. But not at you.”

Marvin pulled at a loose string on his clothing. “Why at yourself? Trin, I _promise_ you, you haven’t done anything wrong.”

She sighed, “I don’t know. I have a lot of feelings going on right now. I don’t really… I don’t know,” she said. “I’ll tell Mendel. He’ll probably be the only one who will be able to tell Jason correctly.”

He hated that she was right. He hated that he had to rely on _Mendel_ to tell his son about this stuff… but he did. “Okay,” he mumbled. 

Silence. Again. Trina broke it, “When will you be home?”

“I don’t know. Something came up. I made a friend and he’s in a bad situation, I’m trying to help him,” he answered, keeping it as vague as he could. 

It seemed to be okay enough for her. “Alright. Keep me posted?”

“Yeah. I will.”

“Okay.”

They were quiet for a moment, before saying their goodbyes and hanging up. 

  
  


***

  
  


The day has been slow. Thursdays, for some reason, were usually slow. Whizzer liked them. He sat alone at one of the stools that looked in on the kitchen. Customers hardly ever ate at this table, for some reason. He almost always did when he was on breaks, because it was easier to talk to Cordelia. It was four thirty when she started turning off the kitchen appliances. “Hey,” she said, catching his attention. He hadn’t even realized he’d been slipping off into his thoughts. “Can you help me close up?”

“Close?” he asked. “It’s not even five yet.”

She smiled, leaning against the counter. “I know. We’re closing early.”

Whizzer was a little suspicious. She’s done this before, but not often, and only for reasons of importance. “Okay,” he answered slowly. “Why?”

“We’re going to meet up with Charlie and Marvin for dinner,” she answered, waving a hand absentmindedly. “They wanted to have time to catch up since they haven’t seen each other in so long, and they said that we should tag along.”

Now he was more suspicious. His thoughts slipped back to the phone call, about them hounding him over his relationship. Over Alec. Over his safety. That’s probably what this was about, wasn’t it? _Stay strong,_ he told himself, because freaking out now and refusing to go would probably seem all the more sketchy. At this point, he had to do all he could to keep them from finding out anything more. “Oh,” he ended up saying, simple, almost a bit absent, but a response nonetheless. 

He got up and helped her finish cleaning to close up the diner, then followed her outside. It was five now. Technically, he should be getting off his shift and going home, now. Alec wouldn’t be home, because he was out delivering drugs to other druggies today. That was another reason why Whizzer liked Thursdays - he could get home from work and have the house to himself for a while. There was never any telling how long he’d get the house to himself, but it was always a few hours. Even though he was alone, he still had to be careful with what he did. No making messes, no changing the way things were arranged - he basically just had to sit there if he wanted to completely avoid risking pissing Alec off. 

“Charlie’s picking us up,” Cordelia told him, sitting along the curb and gently pulling Whizzer down to sit next to her. “And Marvin will meet us there.”

Whizzer hummed softly, “Marvin isn’t carpooling with us?”

She shrugged. “Guess not. He told us he’d drive on his own,” she said. “He said something about needing to do something before he showed up so it would be easier.”

“Hm,” Whizzer murmured, adjusting his jacket. “Sketchy.”

“Sketchy?” she laughed. “What do you propose that he’s doing?”

“Who knows? He’s practically a stranger,” he shrugged, smiling over at her. “Maybe he had to murder someone and hide the body first.”

“Oh my god, you’re ridiculous,” she shook her head, bumping her shoulder against his playfully. 

Whizzer had to pretend that it didn’t hurt, that she hadn’t just hit a bruise and that it wasn’t sending throbbing pain through his body. He had gotten pretty good at that over the years. 

They joked back and forth for a little while, until Charlotte’s car pulled up. Cordelia took the passenger’s seat and Whizzer sat in the back. He had no clue where they were going. Somewhere for dinner, but that was about all he knew. He scrolled through his phone and listened to the couple in front of him talk. They talked about their days, about how many deaths Charlotte had been surrounded in and how many deaths Cordelia had avoided, about coworkers and things they said and did. The conversation didn’t directly include him, so he pulled out his phone to scroll through it. 

New text from the same unknown number that had called last night. Whizzer had a good feeling that it was Marvin, which was confirmed when he saw the message. ‘ _Excited to see you soon :)’._ Maybe it was kind of cute. He smiled, and sent a simple smiley face in response. He decided to let Marvin do with that what he would. 

They ended up at a small restaurant and picked one of the tables in the outdoor seating area. Marvin had gotten there before them, and they met up with him to head into the restaurant. Cordelia and Charlotte sat at one side of the table, and Whizzer and Marvin sat at the other. Whizzer couldn’t help but to think, at least for a moment, that this was kind of like a double date. Except for the fact that he and Marvin weren’t dating. 

“Obviously we were all working, but what did you do with your day, Marvin?” Charlotte asked, after the waiter had come around to take their drink orders. 

Cordelia grinned across the table at Whizzer, “Yeah, what did you have to do? Because _someone_ thought you might’ve been hiding dead bodies.”

Whizzer laughed, “I didn’t-”

“That’s _exactly_ what I was doing,” Marvin said. 

Conversation carried on. It was fun. In fact, it was so much fun that Whizzer had practically forgotten about Alec, at least for the time they were all together. The girls were always fun to be around, and Marvin only added onto the great company. The food they ordered was good, too. Even after they finished eating, they just hung out and talked. Whizzer couldn’t keep track of all the topics they talked about, but it didn’t matter. Nothing negative ever came up. Everything was positive and lighthearted and kept them smiling and laughing. 

It was nearly eleven by the time they finally paid and left the restaurant. As they headed out to the parking lot, Marvin and Whizzer hung back behind Cordelia and Charlotte a bit. 

“Hey,” Marvin said. He smiled when Whizzer looked over at him. “Do you work tomorrow? Do you maybe want to come back to my hotel with me? We can just hang out and watch movies, or something.”

Whizzer knew he should say no, that he did work and that he needed to get home to his boyfriend, but he wanted to say yes. Just as he’d started to answer, Cordelia cut in for him. “Whiz, take the day off tomorrow! Go hang out with Marvin,” she said, still walking alongside her fiancée but walking backwards so she could smile at them. 

He watched the blonde turn back around, watched as she slipped her hand into Charlotte’s. He wanted that with someone. He took a breath, looking back over at Marvin and giving him a smile, “Considering that my day just got incredibly free, I would love to.”

The car ride was casual. Just like in the restaurant, they just talked and joked and laughed. It was nice. Marvin’s company was much better than he could’ve ever expected - and even better than he could’ve hoped for. They got to the hotel, took the elevator up to Marvin’s floor, and slipped into the suite. 

“Is it lonely?” Whizzer asked, as they slipped off their shoes. He fiddled with his jacket as Marvin took his off and started to hang it up. “Staying here alone?”

“Yeah, kinda,” Marvin answered. He held a hand out, a silent offer to take Whizzer’s jacket. “I think it was more lonely when I kept doing the one night stand every night thing. It’s a little better now that I’ve cut that habit.”

He slipped off his jacket and let Marvin hang it up, adjusting the collar of his shirt. “That makes sense,” he agreed. 

They ended up sitting on the couch together, flipping through the channels for a while before giving up. Marvin pulled out his laptop and opened Netflix and, after a few minutes of scrolling, they decided on some series that had gotten hype recently that neither one of them had actually started watching yet. As time passed, they ended up giving up on the show (it wasn’t as good as reviews had preached) and decided to just continue talking and getting to know each other. Marvin ordered them a bottle of red wine through room service and gave Whizzer a pair of comfier clothes to change into. 

Whizzer stood in the bathroom for a little while. The hoodie and shorts Marvin had given him fit surprisingly well, especially considering their height and size difference. Marvin was shorter and pudgier than Whizzer was. He tugged at the collar of the hoodie a bit. It didn’t show off any bruises or marks right now, but he was a little nervous that it would if it shifted too much. He took a breath, trying to not let it worry him too much. He didn’t want to ruin the vibe of the evening. 

The wine had been delivered when he finally came back out. Marvin was pouring them glasses, holding one out to Whizzer. He’d changed into comfy clothes too, now dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants. “I guess it’s kinda stupid and cliché, but I looked up some get to know each other questions…”

Whizzer smiled into his wine glass. Okay, maybe Marvin was _really_ cute. “Fun,” he hummed. “As long as you don’t ask boring ones, I’m down.”

The two of them sat on the carpeted floor, facing each other, wine glasses in hand and the bottle in between them for convenience. Marvin scrolled through the questions for a while, presumably looking for a good one. Whizzer didn’t mind. He sat with his back against a sofa and knees up to his chest, taking another sip of wine as he watched Marvin look. Really, he could’ve spent the whole night like this. 

“Okay,” Marvin finally said. “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

Whizzer considered the question for a moment. “Not sure,” he said. “I don’t like thinking about the future. What about you?”

He shrugged. “Living somewhere that isn’t Rochester, with a boyfriend. Maybe a pet.”

Whizzer smiled, “What kind of pet?”

“I’m a cat person.”

“Hmm, me too. Next question.”

Marvin chuckled. He scrolled for a moment. “Where is your happy place?”

“Uh… Well, there’s a park about thirty minutes away from my place. I go there a lot,” Whizzer answered, with a slight shrug. “It’s really more of my thinking spot, I guess. No one ever goes there, so it’s just an empty field of grass and abandoned playground equipment. If you go at night, the stars are really vibrant.” 

Marvin was smiling at him. Maybe it gave him a slight feeling of butterflies in his stomach. “How did you find it?”

“I don’t really remember,” Whizzer lied. “What’s yours?”

“I don’t have one.”

They went back and forth for hours. Some questions ended in them laughing so hard they cried, some ended in words of encouragement and consolation, some led to other conversations before finally shifting back to more questions. It was nearly three in the morning when they finally decided to quit and go to bed. The bottle of wine was empty and both men were tipsy, but neither of them really minded it. 

They shared the bed. It was big, big enough for the two of them to sleep on opposite sides with space between them, but they’d decided against doing that. Instead, they were cuddled up together. Marvin in his back, arms around Whizzer. Whizzer with his head against Marvin’s chest. He could hear his heart beating. 

_This_ was what he wanted. This was what he longed for. Simple intimacy that felt natural. Marvin’s fingers trailed through his hair and Whizzer traced shapes against the fabric of Marvin’s t-shirt with his finger. 

“My wife and I are getting divorced. We made the decision to split this morning,” Marvin murmured. 

Whizzer took a deep breath in. “Yeah?” he whispered. “How do you feel?”

“Better. But in a weird way.”

He nodded slowly. Maybe Cordelia was right. Maybe this _was_ a sign to leave Alec. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: i hate writing the marvin & trina break up/divorce scenes so if if that scene seemed weird or something i’m sorry lol. i never know how to word things and it’s just... odd. but obviously it had to happen so,, just pretend it was good :) 
> 
> uhh i AM happy w the rest of this chapter though!!! i hope you guys enjoyed it as much as i enjoyed writing it!
> 
> thank you so much for reading! please let me know your thoughts!
> 
> are you seeing this? if you are, go sign a petition!
> 
> have a great day! 
> 
> \- isaiah :)


	10. do i love him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW LIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:  
> \- mentions of relationship abuse  
> \- mentions of physical abuse  
> \- mentions of drug/alcohol use/abuse  
> \- mentions of gaslighting

_ does he take care of you? _

_ or could i easily fill his shoes? _

_ ‘sex’ - the 1975 _

  
  


* * *

Marvin woke up first. He had no clue what time it was, other than that it was presumably still the morning - or perhaps early afternoon. He didn’t really care what time it was because he didn’t have anything to do and because Whizzer didn’t either. Whizzer was still asleep, still curled up against Marvin’s chest. He was pretty. Marvin knew he probably shouldn’t think like that, but he supposed that it wasn’t really hurting anything. He wasn’t objectifying him, and Whizzer hadn’t ever told him  _ not  _ to say that he was pretty. He sighed, dropping the topic for now and letting his fingers brush through the other man’s hair slowly and carefully. It was soft, but he really could’ve guessed that just from looking at it. Whizzer obviously put time into taking care of his appearance. Although that was nice, Marvin also thought that he was gorgeous naturally - he didn’t need any of the additions. 

Whizzer, asleep with messy bedhead and his cheek smushed against Marvin’s chest, was just as pretty as he was when he was when he was awake and had spent god knows how long on fixing his hair. He looked just as good in an old hoodie and shorts as he did in a button down and nice jeans. Marvin smiled a bit to himself, continuing to toy with Whizzer’s hair - until his gaze landed on a patch of discoloration. 

Carefully, he brushed Whizzer’s hair back, away from his face. Marvin’s smile immediately disappeared as he saw the rainbow of gruesome colors along his temple. It wasn’t a question of how it got there, as that was pretty obvious at this point, but more of how recent it was. It looked new, almost enough so that Marvin was really starting to regret having let Whizzer go back home with Alec after what he’d seen at the bar. Not that he probably would’ve allowed Marvin to stop him, but it was just the fact that he didn’t even  _ try  _ to stop him that bugged him. It made him wonder how many other bruises Whizzer had. Where they were, how bad they were. The one along his hairline looked awful, like it had to hurt. He wondered if it came with a concussion, if he needed to be checked out by a doctor. Whizzer probably wouldn’t let Marvin tell Charlotte. 

He let the hair fall back into place, framing Whizzer’s face once again and hiding any evidence of injury. It seemed like Alec was smart, for the lack of a better word, with his abuse. That he knew where to hurt him, how to hurt him, in ways that it shouldn’t be obvious. That was almost scarier than the idea of Alec just beating him with reckless abandon. If he did it in such a way that Whizzer could hide it, it could be going on much more frequently and much more dangerously than he or either of the girls had originally expected. 

Whizzer’s eyes blinked open for a moment. Marvin watched as he looked just long enough to remember where he was, before closing his eyes again and buried his face into the crook of Marvin’s neck. 

“Hi,” Marvin mumbled softly, wrapping both arms around him again. 

“Hi,” Whizzer whispered, the word muffled just slightly. A yawn followed. “It’s cold.”

He hummed, pulling the blankets up and tighter around them. “Do you want me to go make coffee?”

He felt Whizzer shake his head, “Not yet. It’s too cozy.”

Marvin knew that he wanted to question Whizzer. About the bruise, about other potential and likely injuries, about Alec in general; but not yet. Right now he was still half asleep and it wasn’t fair to bring up such a heavy, sensitive topic when he’d just woken up and they were cuddling in bed. He couldn’t help but to wonder if Whizzer had said anything to Alec. Did Alec know Whizzer was gone? Did he know anything about where he was?

“You’re  _ really _ comfortable,” Whizzer murmured. “I could spend all day here.”

Marvin chuckled a bit, “I mean, you could, if you really want to. Cordelia did give you the day off.”

Whizzer hummed quietly, almost as if he was contemplating the idea, which made Marvin grin. 

He shouldn’t be thinking like this, but he could wake up to this every single day. He pictured his future self, the Marvin in five years, in a nice house just outside the city, living with Whizzer and maybe a cat or two. He pictured the two of them, happy and in love. Loving each other and loving life. Maybe Whizzer would still work at Cordelia’s. Maybe he’d move on to something bigger. Marvin would have a new job, perhaps something he enjoyed more. Jason would come over on the weekends. He and Whizzer would get along - hopefully. They’d still see Cordelia and Charlotte, too. Everyone would be happy. No more pain. 

But right now, he was only in a hotel room. Right now, Whizzer was still in an awful relationship. Neither one of them was happy, truly. There was a lot of work to do. 

Whizzer shifted again, head back on Marvin’s chest so that he could look up at him. “It feels like she’s trying to set us up,” he said, a sleepy smile on his face. “She’s trying so  _ hard  _ to get us to date.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, not taking his eyes off of Whizzer. “It does feel like that. How does it make you feel?”

He yawned, giving a small shrug. “I don’t know. I guess… if it weren’t for Alec…” he let himself trail off. Both of them knew where he was most likely going to go with that statement, and Marvin felt his heart stop in his chest, even just for a brief moment. 

Whizzer was interested in him, too. It made Marvin wonder if Whizzer would picture his future self the same way that Marvin himself did. Perhaps future Marvin wasn’t just a daydream. 

“Can I ask you something?” Marvin asked, his fingers lazily running up and down Whizzer’s back. Cuddling like this felt so natural. 

He seemed hesitant. “Yeah,” he answered. “But I can’t promise an answer.”

Fair enough. He nodded. “Do you actually love Alec?” he asked. “You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to. But if you do, I want the truth. Okay?”

Whizzer took a breath. His fingers toyed with the fabric of Marvin’s t-shirt absently. He let the breath out and took another one. “I don’t know,” he whispered after a moment. “I  _ did.  _ When we first got together, I loved him. And I genuinely believed that he loved me, too.”

He stopped there, but Marvin felt like he had more to say. The room was silent for a few minutes, before Whizzer took another breath and spoke again, “He says he has anger issues. And I guess that’s not  _ false.  _ He does. He gets angry a lot, at little things. The problem is that he… doesn’t try to stop it. Or maybe he does, I don’t know, but it doesn’t work. And on top of that, he drinks all the time or does drugs - or does  _ both  _ and those obviously haven’t helped. He says they do. He says he’d be a lot more angry if he didn’t have access to drugs or alcohol and I… I don’t know.”

“He’s lying to you,” Marvin said, as gently as he could. “If the drugs and alcohol are making him worse, then they aren’t helping him. It  _ wouldn’t  _ help him. The only thing that would is professional help. A therapist. If he’s prescribed professional medication for it, that’s one thing, but alcohol and drugs aren’t going to do anything.”

Whizzer didn’t say anything. He wouldn’t look at Marvin. The room fell into another silence. Marvin sighed, “What drugs does he take?”

“I don’t know,” he answered, accompanied by a humorless laugh. “I don’t even know. He has access to so many, I…”

“Okay,” Marvin whispered, wrapping his arms tighter around Whizzer. “How often does he hit you?”

“What?”

He brushed back Whizzer’s hair again, lightly tracing the bruise there. “Do you have any other bruises? When did they happen?” he asked. “Is this a frequent thing?”

He pulled away immediately, quickly. His hair fell back into place, but Marvin could still see a small bit of purple-black skin peaking out from behind it. “Marvin.”

“Whizzer, please. I’m trying to help you,” he said, sitting up. 

They sat there, staring at each other for a moment. Whizzer’s eyes were wide, panic behind them. Marvin wanted to reach for him, to hold him and tell him that it would be okay, but he didn’t. 

“Not- Not all the time,” he finally answered, looking away. “Just, uh, if I’ve done something to make him extra mad. Like if I take too long cooking or if I spill something and make a mess or if I move one of his things and forget to tell him or if I don’t tell him I’ve been gone.”

Marvin found himself speechless for a moment. No one should be hit for  _ any  _ of those things. They were minor inconveniences, things that should be looked over, because they would fix themselves on their own. “Whizzer,” he whispered. “You  _ can’t  _ love him. You cannot like being treated like that.”

Whizzer was silent. He sat there at the end of the bed, arms wrapped around himself, staring down at the blankets. It was pretty obvious to Marvin then that he  _ didn’t  _ \- but that Alec had gaslighted him into  _ thinking  _ that he did. 

“Whizzer. Look at me,” he said quietly. Once Whizzer’s gaze finally met Marvin’s, he continued. “You really need to leave him, okay? This isn’t good for you. You  _ don’t _ love him, but he’s never going to let you believe that if you stay with him and keep letting him treat you the way he does. I’ll go with you. You won’t be alone, I’ll-”

“No,” he mumbled, shaking his head. “If you come, if  _ anyone  _ comes, it’ll be worse. I’ll do it. But you can’t come. And don’t tell Dee or Charlie, because they’ll want to come check on me. It’ll be so much worse.”

Marvin watched him for a moment before slowly nodding. “Alright,” he sighed. “Okay. I won’t tell anyone. I’ll stay here. But I want you to text me, okay? If anything happens, text me and I’ll be right there. I’m not letting you get hurt again.”

“Okay,” Whizzer whispered. 

“Promise me. Please.”

“I promise.”

They got out of bed and got dressed. Marvin offered to drive Whizzer to his apartment, but Whizzer refused in fear of Alec seeing and getting mad right off the bat. Although Marvin hated it, he understood. He hated even more just having to stand there and watch as Whizzer left the hotel. He’d walked him down to the first floor, gave him a quick hug goodbye and words of encouragement, but standing there and watching as he disappeared into the crowded New York City sidewalk was harder than he ever thought it would be. 

Marvin went back upstairs to his hotel room and waited for a text from Whizzer. Even just one saying that he returned home and was okay. He waited. 

And waited. 

And waited. 

And waited. 

_ And waited. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had an idea.... what if i made this fic a two-parter? like, this fic will end after the alec thing is figured out (that’s all i’ll say there bc i don’t want to spoil too much lol) and then i’d have a sequel to handle the aftermath? i’d originally planned to have it all be one fic, but as i’m planning the chapters out i’ve come to realize that it would probably be on the longer side of fics lmao. so, what do you guys think? one really long fic or two decent/medium length fics? if i had a sequel, i think the main difference would be just that i’d feel better about fleshing out the aftermath a bit more lol. idk. 
> 
> also uh. this is the last decently happy chapter for a little while. do with that what you will :)
> 
> anyway! as always, i hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you so much for reading it! thank you also for the continued support - sometimes i forget to reply to comments, but i read every single one and they always make my day. i love you guys so much. 
> 
> please make sure to keep signing petitions! have a wonderful day/night <3
> 
> \- isaiah :)


	11. “love”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW LIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:  
>  \- in depth / descriptive relationship abuse  
>  \- in depth / descriptive physical abuse   
>  \- in depth / descriptive mental and emotional abuse  
>  \- drug/alcohol use/abuse  
>  \- death threats  
>  \- manipulation & gaslighting  
>  \- basically... this is a VERY heavy chapter. please take care of yourself :’)

_ i swear there’s a ghost on this island _

_ and his hands, all covered in blood _

_ ‘antichrist’ - the 1975 _

* * *

All he had to do was break up with him and leave. Tell him they’re done, it’s over, and then leave. It wouldn’t be too hard. It  _ shouldn’t  _ be. But Alec had a habit of making things so much more difficult than they should be. 

Whizzer almost wanted to turn around, to go back to Marvin’s hotel room and curl up in bed with him again. They could just run away. Maybe after Marvin’s divorce was finalized, the two of them could run away somewhere else. They could run away to somewhere like Vermont, adopt a cat, and live in a cozy little house together. Rebuild their lives, start afresh. Alec would never find them there. He’d miss Cordelia and Charlotte, but they could Skype and come visit sometimes. They’d understand if he told them everything. Maybe they’d even come too. 

But he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t do  _ any  _ of it. Instead, he hurried down the sidewalks to the penthouse where he lived. He wouldn’t live there for much longer. He just had to get there, break up with Alec, and get out. Maybe  _ then  _ he’d text Marvin and have him come pick him up. Maybe they could go to the diner and get lunch and tell Cordelia that he and Alec were done. That Marvin and his wife were splitting up. Things would get better. 

He couldn’t stop himself from thinking of the  _ what if’s.  _ What if Marvin wasn’t actually interested in him? What if Marvin was just taking pity on him? What if, if Whizzer left Alec, he would just be alone? What if Marvin  _ was  _ interested in him, but would turn out to be just like Alec? What if-

“It’s about time you got home.”

Whizzer paused. He hadn’t realized that he’d stepped inside their apartment. “I-”

“Where were you?”

He couldn’t tell if Alec was sober or not. It shouldn’t matter. All he needed to do was tell him that they needed to break up and then leave. Alec didn’t need any more explanations. And yet, Whizzer gave him one anyway, “Cordelia’s. After work we went out for dinner, and they wanted me to come over and watch movies with them. It was late and we accidentally fell asleep and-”

Alec stepped closer, closing the door behind Whizzer. “You didn’t think to tell me?” he asked. “You didn’t even let me know that you weren’t going to be home. I waited here all night for you. I stayed up waiting for you to get home. And you didn’t even  _ text. _ ”

He hesitated. “I’m sorry.”

“No you aren’t. Get in here.”

Whizzer obeyed.  _ Tell him,  _ he kept thinking.  _ Dump him. Leave.  _ But he couldn’t. Instead, he let Alec grab his arm and drag him inside, drag him through the house and into the kitchen. He shoved him at the counter, and Whizzer already felt throbbing pain in his hip where it hit the sharp part of the counter. 

“Make me breakfast. I’m hungry.”

Alec waited there. He stood there as Whizzer straightened himself up and grabbed the utensils to start cooking. He sent a cool glare his way the entire time. Whizzer’s hands shook, but he tried to ignore it. His hip ached, but he tried to ignore it. He couldn’t breathe, but he tried to ignore it. He cooked. Eggs and bacon. He plated it, and handed it to Alec.

As he handed it over, Alec swatted at his hand. The plate fell, hit the floor, and shattered. “Now look at what you’ve done!” he barked, gesturing wildly to the mess on the floor. “Worthless piece of shit. I paid for those plates, I used my money to buy those groceries, and you wasted it  _ all _ !”

“I’m sorr-”

He was cut off with a smack to the face. It was hard, and the sound rang out against the kitchen. Then, Whizzer knew this was bad. Worse than usual. Alec usually refrained from hitting him in places as visible as his cheek, in order to keep up a decent appearance. Right now, he didn’t  _ care.  _ Another slap came, and another, and another- and they kept coming until it was enough force to knock Whizzer to the ground. 

“I want to break up,” Whizzer blurted from the floor, his hand over his cheek. It stung, painful throbs coursing through the entire left side of his face. Silence followed his admission, and he fought to stop the tears that stung at his eyes. “I can’t do this anymore. I want to break up.”

Alec slowly kneeled in front of him and took Whizzer’s face into his hands. He’d never been so gentle in the entire eleven years they’d been together. “You don’t mean that,” he said, voice sickeningly sweet. It made Whizzer nauseous, made his head spin. “I love you, baby. I’m  _ helping  _ you. You know I only hurt you because it’s what you need to be able to learn. You’d never learn if I didn’t do this.”

“That’s… not true. That’s not true,” he tried, weakly. 

“Whizzer,  _ honey,”  _ Alec murmured. “I love you. And you love me. Remember? That’s why I moved you here. That’s why we're together. That’s why our relationship has stayed so strong.” 

Whizzer took a breath. Swallowed the lump in his throat. He couldn’t get himself to speak. Alec pulled him forward and held him, brushing a hand through his hair. It wasn’t the same as when Marvin did it. 

“You know I love you,” he cooed. “That’s why you won’t break up with me. That’s why you  _ can’t _ leave.”

He should text Marvin. He should tell him that things weren’t going as planned, that he couldn’t get away. 

“Right?”

He started to reach into his pocket for his phone. It wasn’t there. He’d put it there when he left Marvin’s hotel room. Where did it go? Why wasn’t it there?

Alec’s hand wrapped around his throat.  _ “Right?”  _

He couldn’t breathe. He simply nodded in response, and Alec let him go. 

“Good. Clean up this mess, don’t make any more, and make me breakfast,” he said coldly, before pressing a kiss to Whizzer’s forehead and leaving the room. 

Whizzer sat there for long enough to catch his breath, before getting up and picking up the pieces of broken plate. He threw them away, then returned to clean up the food mess. He cooked again, then tiptoed out of the kitchen to find Alec, keeping a tight grip on the plate to keep it from falling again. How could he have been so stupid to let it fall in the first place? Maybe Alec was right. Maybe this  _ was  _ what he deserved, because he was stupid, because he’d never learn otherwise. He thought for a moment back to what Marvin said - he shouldn’t love Alec, he shouldn’t let Alec treat him like this. Who was right? Alec? Marvin? Why was he so stupid that he couldn’t even figure out the truth? 

Tears stung at his eyes again, but only long enough for him to hear a door slam open from upstairs. He turned to look in the direction, watching Alec come stumbling down them. Even from so far away, he reeked of alcohol and smoke and chemicals. “You actually did it this time, didn’t you?” he half cooed, half slurred. He wore a sick and twisted grin as he took the plate from Whizzer. “Took you fucking long enough. I couldn’t starved by the time it took you to make that. You don’t want me to starve, do you?”

“No,” Whizzer answered automatically. 

“No,” Alec repeated. “Of course you don’t. What’d you do without me? You’d probably be dead, wouldn’t you?”

He didn’t have an answer for that. Maybe he would be. But maybe he’d end up dead if he stayed here any longer. “I want to break up,” he whispered again. 

“Speak up. I can’t hear you.”

“I want to break-”

Alec raised a hand, and that was all that it took for Whizzer to shut up and flinch away. He laughed, just as sick and twisted as the smile he wore. “You just don’t get it, do you?” he asked. He threw the plate down, right at Whizzer’s feet. It shattered. The food flung everywhere. Whizzer was numb to it. He stepped forward, and kept stepping forward until he had Whizzer pinned to a wall. “You’re dead without me. Got it? You leave, I’ll kill you. I mean it.”

“Where’s my phone?” Whizzer whispered. 

“You don’t need it. What’re you going to do, call for help?” he mocked, laughing in his face. “I’ll kill you. I will  _ kill  _ you.” 

Alec’s fist flew at him, and Whizzer’s world went black. Maybe he  _ had  _ killed him. 

  
  


***

  
  


He woke up on the living room floor. It was cold. The shattered plate was still on the floor. The food was still splattered everywhere. It was dark. What time was it? How long had he been out?

Whizzer slowly picked himself up, using the coffee table to help rise off of the floor. His entire body ached. He was dizzy and he felt sick. He almost fell back over once he was able to stand, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes for a moment. The room spun. He felt almost like he was going to throw up, or maybe pass out again. What had he done to deserve this? What  _ hadn’t  _ he done to deserve this? 

He took a breath and opened his eyes again. He ran a hand through his hair, to brush it out of his face - and paused. When he pulled his hand back, his fingertips were coated in dark, sticky red. It was almost enough to make him pass out again. His vision blurred more, and he couldn’t tell if it was because of tears or from the sight of blood. 

Footsteps echoed upstairs. Whizzer froze. They got closer and closer, and his sight started to fade out again. 

“So you  _ are _ alive. Took you long enough to wake up,” Alec slurred. Even more slurred than before. Had he drank more, or was it just Whizzer’s fuzzy brain? He said something else, but it faded away as everything went completely black again. 

  
  


***

  
  


A bright light shone in, and Whizzer flinched as he opened his eyes. It hurt his head. It hurt even with his eyes closed. When he finally mustered up the strength to open his eyes again, to actually sit up, he recognized that it was the sun shining in through open windows. 

The living room was clean. Spotless, even. He was laying on the couch and when he raised a hand to his head, the blood wasn’t there anymore. In fact, there was gauze wrapped around it. There was a glass of water and a few pain relief pills sitting on the coffee table. A piece of paper sat beside it and upon closer inspection, Whizzer recognized it to be a note in Alec’s handwriting. 

_ I’m so sorry. I was drunk, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I left for work, but I want to apologise to you for real when I get home. There are donuts in the kitchen. I love you. You know that. Alec.  _

Reading hurt Whizzer’s head. Really,  _ everything  _ hurt Whizzer’s head. Everything hurt  _ everything.  _ He dropped the note back down onto the table, left the water and medication, and pushed himself up. He nearly fell back down, but used the couch for leverage until he regained his stability enough to let go. 

Carefully, slowly, he made his way up the stairs. He needed to find his phone. He needed to call Marvin. He needed-

His vision faded in and out once he got to the top of the stairs. He let himself sink to his knees when he reached the landing, just to stop himself from falling over and down the stairs. He closed his eyes. He took breaths. In, out. In, out. When he opened his eyes again, he was alright. He pushed himself back up and stepped into the bathroom. 

He looked awful. He unwrapped the gauze, looking at the gash against his forehead, right above where the original bruise had been. It wasn’t as deep as he’d worried it would’ve been, but he was sure that he was concussed because of it. His right eye was black. There were bruises around his throat. He pulled down the collar of his shirt, and more splotches of discolored skin peeked out at him. Had Alec beaten him even when he was passed out? Jesus. 

He felt sick again. Whizzer took a breath and turned away, exiting the bathroom and stepping back out into the hall. He opened the door to Alec’s office. 

He’d never felt more lucky in his entire life. There his phone was, right on top of the desk, among empty bottles of booze and chunks of white powder. He picked it up, unlocked it, and opened his contact list. 

His vision faded in and out again. He pressed a button. 

Marvin’s voice crackled through the speaker.  _ “Whizzer?”  _

“Marvin,” he whispered, voice barely coming out. That was all he was able to manage before he hit the floor with a loud  _ thud.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so like. i was going to wait to post this until tomorrow.... but i changed my mind. :)
> 
> um. yeah. so that happened 
> 
> as always, i hope you enjoyed! i was a little worried about posting this because this is the heaviest thing i’ve ever written, but i think(?) i’m proud of how it turned out? let me know what you think!
> 
> thank you again for reading!!
> 
> \- isaiah :’)


	12. survive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW LIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:  
> \- mentions of relationship abuse  
> \- mentions of physical abuse  
> \- mentions of injuries

_ if you can’t survive, just try _

_ ‘i always wanna die (sometimes)’ - the 1975 _

* * *

  
  
  


“Whizzer?”

“Hey, Whiz, c’mon.”

“Wake up.”

“Can you hear us?”

“You can do it. Please.”

“Whizzer, hon, open your eyes.”

“I’m here. We’re here.”

Voices flitted in and out. Some loud, some soft, some wavering in between the two different volumes. Some were clearer than others, while some were muffled like they were underwater. Like  _ he  _ was underwater. Maybe he was dying. Maybe he was dead. Was this what it was like to be dead? Whizzer couldn’t tell if he liked it or not. 

“Whizzer,  _ please.” _

“What if he doesn’t wake up?”

“He will. He’s okay.”

“But-”

“Whiz, open your eyes.”

He was able to recognize them, now. Marvin, Cordelia, and Charlotte. How had they gotten here? He didn’t remember saying anything to them. Then it occurred to him that he  _ had  _ called Marvin. Or, tried to. He couldn’t remember how far he’d gotten into the fall before passing out again. 

“Is he in a coma?”

“No. Guys,  _ relax.  _ Go downstairs, okay? Both of you.”

“Charlotte-”

“Downstairs. Or… better idea, find the bedroom. Go gather Whizzer’s things and take them to the car.”

The sounds faded out again, like waves. Was he dreaming? Was he drifting away from life and into death? It was scary but, somehow, peaceful. He felt safe. He hadn’t felt safe in a while. No matter what happened, Whizzer had a feeling that he would be okay with it. He didn’t hear anything for a while. He didn’t know how much time had passed. He couldn’t really get himself to care. 

“I know you can hear me. You can open your eyes, now. It’s just the two of us. I love Dee and Marv, but they aren’t making this any easier.” It was Charlotte’s voice. Calm, collected, with a hint of playful amusement - like she usually was. He felt the caress of her hand against his cheek. “You’re going to be okay, alright? Just open your eyes.”

“Am I dead?”

She laughed a little, sounding almost surprised. “No, hon. You can talk, dead people can’t do that, can they?”

“Guess not.”

Her hand trailed up, through his hair. Gentle and soothing. “Nope, they can’t,” she confirmed. “Dead people can’t open their eyes, either. But you can. Can you do that for me?”

Whizzer fluttered his eyes open. His head was in Charlotte’s lap, and she was looking down at him. She smiled as he returned the gaze. Everything was a little blurry, but he didn’t mind it too much. At least he wasn’t dead. “My head hurts,” he murmured. 

She nodded, brushing back some of his hair. “I’m sure it does. It probably will for a little while,” she whispered, examining his visible injuries. “Do you think you can stand? I’ll help you, of course, but we can lay here for as long as you need.”

He closed his eyes again, just for a moment, in thought. “Maybe,” he answered. “I’ll try.”

“Okay. Hold on, slow down. Not so fast,” she told him, as he tried to sit. 

Charlotte carefully shifted him out of her lap, standing up first and then leaning over to help pull him up, too. His brain throbbed. Actually, everything throbbed. He felt like death. Maybe he  _ was  _ dying. He groaned and slumped forward into her arms. 

She caught him. “Marvin?” she called, after a moment. “Can you come help me real quick?”

Whizzer could hear footsteps. He let his eyes slip closed again, and he felt himself be shifted. Charlotte’s arms were around him, and so were someone else’s. Marvin’s. He heard them talking, but couldn’t quite hear what they were saying. He recognized that they were moving, but that was all. He was out again. 

  
  


***

  
  


“...Concussion, that’s for sure. Most likely grade two, but could possibly be three. Broken ribs. Obviously, all bruised up. The good news is that all of it will heal on its own. I’ve bandaged his head, but the gash wasn’t deep enough to need stitches or staples.”

“Wait- what’s the deal with the concussion? What does the grade mean?”

“It’s just the severity. Grade three is the worst. Regardless, he’s going to be okay. Recovery time might be kind of long, but he’ll be alright.”

He opened his eyes to the dim lights of a hospital room. Marvin was in a chair right next to his bed, their hands intertwined. He was looking over at Charlotte, who sat in her doctor chair, typing away at her computer. Cordelia was in a seat next to her, silent, watching the screen. 

“Are you positive?” Marvin asked. His thumb rubbed slow, gentle circles against Whizzer’s palm. 

“Positive,” Charlotte answered. “But you need to calm down. Dee, you too. You guys being all panicky and nervous isn’t going to make Whizzer feel any better.”

“I feel fine,” Whizzer murmured, and all eyes immediately turned to him. 

Charlotte laughed, grinning at him. “Yeah, well, you  _ are  _ under a bit of pain medication right now,” she told him. She wheeled her chair over to him, taking his other hand and checking his pulse. She put her hand up to his forehead, checking temperature. “Any pain at all? Nausea, dizziness?”

Whizzer had to think about the questions for a moment. His brain was a little fuzzy. “No, no, and no. I’m just kinda tired.”

She nodded, “The medication will do that to you. Do you know where you are? Who we are?”

“Your office? I don’t remember getting here,” he answered. “Obviously I know who you are.”

She rolled her eyes at his sarcasm and rolled back over to her computer, “See, guys? He’s fine.” 

Charlotte asked him a few more questions, about how he felt and about the injuries and about what he remembered. He answered them all the best that he could. He started feeling tired again, and she told him to go ahead and sleep, to not worry about trying to stay awake. “You need as much rest as you can get,” she said. “Rest and time are what’s going to heal you.”

He wouldn’t complain. 

  
  


***

Nightmares. They were frequent. The worst part was that he couldn’t wake up, and they felt so  _ real.  _

Alec yelling at him. Alec beating him. Alec drinking, doing drugs, and laughing as Whizzer begged him to quit. Alec throwing things and screaming and insulting and hitting and hurting and  _ existing.  _ It made Whizzer want to cry, to throw up, to just wake up and get away, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t wake up. It was like he was stuck, never to get away. Even though he was physically away, Alec would  _ always  _ plague Whizzer’s mind. 

When he finally did wake up, he was alone. The lights were out. He flew up to a sitting position, breaths shaky, vision blurry behind tears. He was alone. So completely, utterly alone. Before, when he lived with Alec, being alone was a good thing. Now that he was in an empty hospital room, he was so desperate for some kind of company that he almost wished Alec was here. 

Since he was alone, though, he didn’t have to pretend to be strong any longer. He didn’t have to hold back, didn’t have to lie. 

So the tears fell. Tears turned to cries, which turned to sobs - and then he couldn’t stop until he physically ran out of tears to cry. His chest hurt, his stomach hurt, his head hurt, he was  _ exhausted.  _ He’s never cried like that. He’s never felt so scared, so alone - and he didn’t think he could do it any longer. 

_ Survive,  _ he told himself. That’s what he told himself whenever Alec would hit him a little too hard. Whenever he said something that cut a little too deep.  _ Survive. If you get through this, you can get through anything.  _

There was something in him that felt so broken that he didn’t know if it could ever be fixed. Something beyond broken ribs. He pulled his knees to his chest and sat there. Now that the tears were gone, Whizzer felt empty. His eyes stared at a spot on the wall, and he lost track of how long he sat there like that. He focused on breathing, because it was one of the few things he felt like he could control. 

He could control how deep of a breath to take in, how long to let it out. How much air to let in and how much to let out. It hurt to breathe too deeply, though, so he kept them shallow. It hurt his head. He wanted more medicine, but he didn’t know how to work the IV - even though Charlotte had shown him earlier - and he wasn’t going to ring the bell for a nurse. He’d get a nurse he didn’t know, and he didn’t want that. He wanted company, but above that he wanted familiarity. 

He wanted Marvin. He didn’t know what time it was, but he hoped it wasn’t too long before Marvin could come back. He couldn’t be alone anymore. 

Whizzer laid his chin on top of his knees. He blinked, slowly, and decided to let his eyes stay closed. He was exhausted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn’t intend to post this now.... as it is two in the morning...... but i couldn’t sleep & stayed up to write it, so i’m doing it anyway. this chapter was kinda short compared to others and i apologise but sleep deprivation be like 💅🏼  
> anyway, expect another chapter today, although most likely at a more reasonable hour :)
> 
> things are heading in a better direction now. i’ve decided to keep everything as one long fanfiction rather than making a separate sequel; but i’m probably going to put a little empty block chapter between the two parts just for my own personal comfort bc i’m weird like that. idk why it makes me feel better but like... it does? and also that probably makes no sense but...whatever. it is two in the morning. we aren’t even to that part yet anyway (but it’s creeping closer) 
> 
> as always, i hope you enjoyed! please let me know ur thoughts. also pls go sign a petition 
> 
> thanks for reading! 
> 
> \- isaiah :)


	13. hospital

_ inducing sleep to avoid pain _

_ ‘she’s american’ - the 1975 _

* * *

Marvin didn’t know if Whizzer was awake yet or not, but it didn’t matter. He still spoke to him. He’d been speaking to him like that, like he was in a coma. It was stupid, because he knew that he wasn’t - he knew Whizzer would wake up and they could talk like that, but there was something about talking to him when he was asleep that felt important. He didn’t know if Whizzer heard any of it, and truthfully the answer was that he probably didn’t, but it didn’t stop him. 

It had been two days. Whizzer woke up a lot, but only for short periods of time. Charlotte said it was okay, not something to be worried about, just an effect of all the painkillers he was dosed up on. At one point, she even said that maybe it was better, because it stopped him from moving around too much. The painkillers mixed with keeping still and resting were what would heal him. There weren’t any medical procedures that would save him. Marvin wondered what was worse, seeing him like this or seeing him if he had to have gone through surgeries. 

“When you get out of here,” he always told him, “we’ll move away. I’ll officially get divorced and we’ll swing by to get my stuff, then we’ll move and start a new life. We’ll stay close enough that we can still see Cordelia and Charlotte, and that Jason can come visit sometimes once you’re up to it. You’ll be better and we’ll be okay.”

Truthfully, he wasn’t even sure if that’s what Whizzer would want. Maybe, when they got out of here, Whizzer would want space. Maybe he’d want to move out and live on his own for a while. Maybe he’d want to start over all on his own. Marvin didn’t know. He didn’t ask whenever Whizzer  _ did  _ wake up, because it wasn’t something to focus on right now. Right now, the only thing Marvin wanted Whizzer to focus on was healing. Getting better, so he could get out of the hospital, so that they could figure out next steps. At this point, Marvin would be willing to do anything Whizzer wanted. All Marvin wanted at this point was for Whizzer to be okay.

He wanted Whizzer to feel safe. To be happy, not afraid. To not hurt. Last night, Marvin had had a lengthy phone call with his psychiatrist. He told him everything, which wasn’t something he was good at. Normally, Marvin only told the side of things that made him look like a better person. This time, he told him everything. About the fact that he’d cheated, about the fact that he technically initiated divorce via telephone - everything. To his surprise, Mendel listened to it all as well. Mendel listened, and offered advice. Good advice. They talked through everything - about what to do about Trina and Jason, how to handle the divorce and how custody was going to work, about Whizzer, about the correct way to take care of and treat an abuse survivor. That was one of the things Marvin learned last night, was that Whizzer was a  _ survivor,  _ and to never call him a victim. Marvin was learning. He learned a lot. Things to say, things not to say. Things to do and how to correctly do them, and things to absolutely  _ not  _ do. He wasn’t exactly sure how Mendel knew all the answers to all of these things but, for once, Marvin decided to actually put his trust into him and do what he said. 

Obviously, Mendel’s advice wouldn’t be all he needed. Marvin was fully prepared to also put in the effort to research some stuff on his own and to make adjustments as needed. One person needed different things than another, and that was the same regardless of situation. One abuse survivor would handle things differently than another, so Marvin knew he’d need to take all of the advice he found in consideration along with Whizzer’s reactions to things. Just because one thing worked for some didn’t mean it would work for Whizzer. It would be a journey, but Marvin would figure out exactly what it was that Whizzer needed. 

He’d figure it out.  _ They’d  _ figure it out, together, so long as Whizzer would allow him. 

Marvin was in the hospital bed with him. Charlotte said it was okay. She’d left the room for a while, attending to other patients and things. She did have a job to do, Whizzer wasn’t her only patient. Cordelia was at work, too, in the diner. She promised to bring them over dinner when she closed up. Marvin, with no job to do, spent the day at Whizzer’s side. It was nine in the morning, and Whizzer hasn’t woken up yet. Charlotte told him not to worry because, even when he was perfectly healthy and uninjured, he preferred to sleep in late. 

As the time grew closer to nine thirty, Whizzer shifted. His eyelashes fluttered against his cheek. Slowly, he woke up. 

“Hi,” Marvin whispered, brushing hair out of his face. There wasn’t much, bandages keeping it away, but his bedhead was still a little messy. 

Whizzer hummed quietly in response, curling in closer to him. 

Marvin held him, just as he’d been doing all morning. It made him feel a little better when Whizzer was awake, even if it was just partially so like it was now. “How’re you feeling?” he asked after a moment. 

“Okay,” he mumbled. “Don’t like being so tired.”

“I know. But Charlie said it’s for the best. You can sleep off all the pain, and then you’ll be mostly better at the end of the week so you can leave.” 

Whizzer’s eyes closed again. “A week? I’m stuck in here for a full week?”

Marvin chuckled a bit, “Don't be so dramatic. You’ve been here two days already and you slept through most of them. 

He was smiling, too. It made Marvin feel even more better to see him smile. “That’s still five days I have to sleep though,” he responded. He opened his eyes again, shifting a bit to look up at Marvin. “What do I do when I’m out? I don’t have anything.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Marvin promised him. “Dee and I gathered some of your stuff the day we brought you here. It’s not everything, but it’s enough for a new start. I thought, uh... I thought, maybe, we could get a new place? Together?”

“That sounds nice,” he agreed, laying his head on Marvin’s shoulder. “We should move away. I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Okay. Where to?”

“I don’t know. Just not NYC,” he shrugged. “There are too many bad memories here.”

Marvin nodded, “Okay. Not Rochester, either.”

Whizzer laughed a little, “Okay. No Rochester, no NYC.”

“We’ll figure something out. We have a week.”

  
  


***

  
  


The week was slower than any of them expected it to be. Whizzer gradually got better, spending less and less time asleep each day. Aside from that, things fell into a natural habit. Marvin spent his days in the hospital bed at Whizzer’s side. Charlotte worked, and checked in on the two of them as often as she could. Cordelia worked, and brought them food at the end of her workday. They all sat around and ate together and hung out. Charlotte and Cordelia went home around seven. Marvin stayed until Whizzer fell asleep for the night, then he would return to the hotel. Only for everything to go the same way the very next morning. Although it was a bit of a sad habit, it was what they lived with. All of them knew that it was what was needed and that things would be better after this week was over, but it still sucked while they had to deal with it. They made the most of it, though. They joked and talked and played games in the evenings, when Cordelia and Charlotte were off work. They watched movies sometimes, depending on how Whizzer felt. 

Marvin and Whizzer discussed what their new life could look like. They didn’t make any official decisions, but came up with a lot of ideas. Things that would be nice, things that would be good options. Things they wanted, things they didn’t want, both mutual and one-sided ideas. They discussed it all. The girls helped, too. On her lunch break, Charlotte sat in the room with them and they looked through houses all over New York, the three of them determined to find the perfect house. Something away from NYC and Rochester, but something not too far away so that they could all still see each other. When Cordelia came, she helped, too. 

By the end of the week, nothing in particular was set in stone. Whizzer was allowed to leave the hospital room, and he ended up staying with the girls for a few days while Marvin returned home to do a few things. Talk to Trina and Jason and Mendel in person, discuss what changes were happening. Actually file for divorce, get his belongings out of the house. The start of new beginnings wasn’t exactly easy, and he knew that wouldn’t be - but he remained as optimistic as he could. It was hard now, for everyone, but it was going to get better. This was what  _ everyone  _ needed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay! so! this is the last ✨official✨ chapter of this section :’)   
> i’m going to post a short little epilogue type thing after this (it will be up today, in like 15-20 minutes probably), and then it’s moving on to the second half.   
> i anticipate the second half to be a bit longer than the first half? but i can’t promise anything. also... up until now it’s all been purely 1975 quotes and i think maybe i’m going to broaden that a bit bc there’s only so many i can use lol. 
> 
> anyway!!! thank you for reading this far and for the continual support! pls let me know what you think! go sign petitions!
> 
> \- isaiah :)


	14. EPILOGUE

**_epilogue._ **

  
  


_ Two months later.  _

Marvin and Trina’s divorce has been completely finalized and, despite the general connotations behind divorce, both of them are relatively happy with it. Jason was a bit confused, but understood. His parents remained friends, and kept in contact with each other. Trina ended up finding love elsewhere, in Mendel Weisenbachfeld, and although it was the last thing Marvin expected, he was happy for them. 

While Marvin took care of these things at home, Whizzer remained in NYC with the lesbians. All of his exterior physical injuries completely healed, but there’s still plenty of mental and emotional healing left to take care of. They managed to get ahold of Alec, who’d attempted disappearing after realizing the consequences of hurting Whizzer as badly as he did, and took him to court. After what felt like forever, Whizzer was able to get a restraining order against him and Alec was put on probation. 

Marvin and Whizzer made the official decision to get a house together, and to remain in New York. After some looking and thinking, they found a nice place in Long Island and began their move. As the beginning of their new story, they found themselves redoing everything. All new furniture, new decor - Whizzer even insisted on dragging Marvin through a few different malls and shopping centers to reinvent their wardrobes. Marvin got a new job, another office job but this one not nearly as tedious as the one he had back in Rochester. Whizzer tried to look for work, but Marvin insisted that he take time off to just enjoy being at home. 

The transition was new, just as everything was. Everyone had some adapting to do. 

**_end of part one._ **

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and there it is! here’s to new beginnings :) 
> 
> i’m excited to get started with the second half of this fic! i have so many great ideas. 
> 
> this epilogue thing is basically just to better set things up and explain how the second half is beginning (because i’m too lazy to describe it in grander terms)
> 
> next chapter coming soon! please let me know how you feel and any expectations you might have!
> 
> \- isaiah :)


	15. making a home

_ i love the house that we live in _

_ and i love you all too much _

_ is it the same for you? _

_ ‘antichrist’ - the 1975 _

* * *

  
  


Marvin flopped down against the couch with a heavy sigh. Finally, after what felt like years, the two of them had finished moving the last of their things. All the new things were easy, because they bought them at the store and brought them home. Personal objects were different, because they had to travel all the way back to New York City or Rochester, pack up what they had room for in Marvin’s old car, and then travel it all the way back. Lots of car rides, lots of gas money blown through, and surprising amounts of stress. But at last, two and a half months later, they were officially completely moved in, and relaxation had never felt so deserved. 

“C’mere,” he said, as Whizzer stepped into the house. He closed the front door behind him with his foot and set the last box down on a table just inside the door before trotting over and dropping himself down next to Marvin. 

“I forgot how nice it is to sit down on actual furniture,” Whizzer sighed, stretching his arms a bit. He ran a hand through his hair. “We still have things to put away.”

“It can wait for a moment. Take a break. You’ve been working yourself so much all week,” Marvin said, wrapping an arm around Whizzer’s shoulders.

They didn’t have an official title for their relationship. Both of them were out of their previous relationships, with Marvin’s divorce finalized and Alec taken care of, and neither one of them really felt the need to jump into a new one so soon. They knew how they felt about one another, for the most part, and it was good enough for them. They had two separate bedrooms in the house, one for each of them to decorate as their own, but there was no guarantee that they’d end up sleeping alone every single night. 

Whizzer relaxed into Marvin’s touch, practically melting into his side. “I guess. I just want everything done, y’know?” he said, fingers absentmindedly picking at the fabric of his hoodie. Well, technically, it was  _ Marvin’s  _ hoodie, but Whizzer had held it captive ever since he first left the hospital. “Everything’s here, but it hasn’t all gotten put away yet. There are boxes everywhere, it’s a mess. If people come over they’ll think-”

“They’ll think we’re moving in. Which we are,” Marvin assured him, rubbing his thumb over Whizzer’s shoulder gently. “If anyone comes over at this point, it’s more than likely just going to be Cordelia and Charlotte, and they understand. Maybe a pizza delivery guy tonight because I don’t know about you, but I don’t think we should busy ourselves with trying to cook.”

One thing Marvin had learned recently was that Whizzer was a bit of a perfectionist. He wasn’t good at relaxing until everything was done. If Marvin had done this entirely on his own, they probably wouldn’t be as close to finishing the move as they were. Whizzer insisted on moving everything in immediately, on putting things away and building furniture as they got it - which took a lot of trips to and from Ikea and a lot of reading and rereading of instructions that Marvin simply wouldn’t have had the patience for. He knew it probably stemmed from the way things had to be done when he lived with Alec, which was why Marvin attempted to break the habit. He was starting slow, which was why he was letting Whizzer get everything they had into the house but not letting him immediately start putting everything away just yet. There were only a few boxes left, mostly kitchen items and house decorations and clothing to put in closets and dressers. He wanted to teach him that taking breaks was a good thing, that not everything had to be pristine and put together all the time. 

It made Whizzer anxious, which Marvin was aware of, so he made sure to continually reassure him through it. The _“it’s okay”_ s and the explanations why were frequent, but Marvin didn’t mind it. If that’s what it took to make Whizzer understand, it’s what he would do.

“Pizza  _ does  _ sound good,” Whizzer agreed slowly. 

Marvin grinned at him, “That’s the spirit. I’ll order it now, why don’t you look through my box of movies for something good to watch?”

He seemed hesitant, but was obviously trying to hide his hesitance. “Alright,” he said. Marvin pressed a kiss to his head before getting up and leaving the room to order a pizza. 

Their home really was wonderful. It was in a nice, decently spaced out neighborhood. Their neighbors seemed friendly, although they haven’t spoken with them much just yet. It was two stories, with plenty of room for the two of them as well as an eventual pet or two and any guests they might want to have over. It had a decent sized backyard with plenty of patio space and an inground pool. They’d picked it out together, with the help of Cordelia and Charlotte, and had been absolutely in love with it the second that they found it. It was expensive, but Marvin’s previously high paying job had been enough and the even higher paying job he would start soon would be enough to keep up with the rest of the expenses. Overall, Marvin was incredibly happy with the investment, and Whizzer had seemed thrilled, too. 

He stood in the kitchen as he made the call, looking out the window that hung right over the sink into their backyard. It was perfect. Everything was perfect - and the things that weren’t perfect would become that way over time. He couldn’t remember the last time he was genuinely as happy as he was at this moment. He finished the call, thanking the young lady who had taken the order, before grabbing a bottle of wine from the cooler that had come built into the kitchen and pulling a few glasses out of the cabinet. He hadn’t even realized that Whizzer had been in the kitchen long enough to have started putting away some of the dishes, but he couldn’t really say that he was surprised.

“Alright,” he said, returning to the living room. He set the wine and glasses down on the coffee table. “Decide what we’re watching.”

“No offense, but your selection is shit,” Whizzer said. As he’d been looking through them, he was also organizing them on the shelf next to the TV stand. “The only good movie you own is _Jumanji,_ so we’re watching that.”

Marvin laughed but nodded, “No  _ Baby Geniuses?” _

Whizzer gave him a look, “I cannot believe that you own that movie on DVD, Marvin Cohen. That’s a crime.”

“I think we should watch it. It’s fun to make fun of.”

“ _ You’re _ fun to make fun of, but I generally keep my mouth shut.”

  
  
  


The pizza came. The pair put on sweats, grabbed blankets, turned off the lights, and curled up on the couch with their wine and pizza. They ended up putting on  _ Baby Geniuses  _ anyway, because Marvin was right - it  _ was  _ fun to make fun of, and both of them could use some good mockery to end a busy week. 

‘Stayin Alive’ by the Bee Gees played from the TV. Whizzer put his feet into Marvin’s lap. “I wish you didn’t have to start work tomorrow.”

He smiled over at him. “I know,” he said. “But I’ll leave way before you even wake up, and I’ll be home before three. We’ll have plenty of time together when I get back, and you can do something fun while you’ve got the place to yourself.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Read? Watch something on the TV? Meet the neighbors, if they’re home? You could always go out and do something too, like explore the neighborhood or go window shopping or something. The day’s yours, Whiz.”

Whizzer watched him for a moment, expression unreadable, before he nodded simply. He sipped his wine and turned his attention back to the television screen. “What is even happening?”

Marvin’s gaze fell on the television too. He watched it for a moment, trying to figure out an answer to Whizzer’s question, before giving up and shrugging. “Couldn’t tell you.”

They finished  _ Baby Geniuses,  _ then put on  _ Jumanji. _ It was after midnight by the time both movies were over. The pair got up and put away the leftover pizza and wine before gathering up the blankets. “Are we sleeping together tonight?” Whizzer asked, as they dropped the blankets onto one of the beds. Neither one of them had decided which room was going to belong to who yet - no decorating had been done, aside from beds and dressers being put in each room. 

Marvin yawned. “If you want to, we will,” he answered, flopping into bed. “I do have to get up early, though. Will that wake you up?”

Whizzer flopped in next to him. He pulled the blankets up over them. “I sleep like a dead man. I’ll probably be fine,” he said. 

They lay facing each other for a moment, nothing other than silence and held gazes. There were unspoken words between the two of them, but it felt understood. Whizzer leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to the side of Marvin’s lips. “Goodnight. Go to sleep, you have to get up early like a lame old man.”

He scoffed. “Goodnight.”

He closed his eyes, for a few minutes, and just lay there. When he opened them again, Whizzer’s eyes were closed too. In fact, Whizzer’s breathing had already evened out. He was already asleep. Marvin smiled to himself, before closing his eyes again as well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me? titling a whizzvin chapter with trindel lyrics? yeah. 
> 
> anyway! i had fun writing this one. they watched baby geniuses. haha, losers.   
> i hope you enjoyed! a nice little sweet beginning to the second half of this fic :’)
> 
> please do let me know what you thought! also remember to go sign petitions and do whatever you can to help the black lives matter movement <3
> 
> ily!
> 
> \- isaiah :)


	16. being alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW LIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:  
> \- depictions of anxiety and panic attacks

_ i’m petrified of being alone now _

_ it’s pathetic, i know _

_ ‘if i believe you’ - the 1975 _

* * *

  
  
  


Whizzer woke up in a cold sweat. Another sleep plagued with thoughts and memories and flashbacks of Alec. He knew he shouldn’t let it bother him, because all of that was over now. It was a new chapter in his life. Things were different now. Alec wasn’t here now and they probably wouldn’t ever hear from him ever again. If they did, Whizzer had a legal way to make him stop. He took a breath, running his hands over his face before rolling over. 

The bed was empty. It was cold on the spot next to him. He knew it would be. Marvin had work, he’d left around five in the morning. Whizzer considered staying in bed all day, maybe rolling back over and going back to sleep, but that wasn’t productive. He needed to be productive. That’s probably the  _ real  _ reason why Marvin wanted him to not worry about getting a job, right? So that he could take care of the house. It wouldn’t be difficult, it was his responsibility on top of working when he lived with Alec. He knew how to take care of a house. But he couldn’t do that by being a lazy bum in bed all day. 

He got up, picked an outfit out of one of the many boxes of clothes, took a shower. He looked at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth. The bathroom in this house was a lot nicer. Two sinks, so he and Marvin could both be in here at the same time - if they ever ended up waking up at the same time, that was. As of right now, it didn’t seem to be a huge issue, but it will nice to know that they’d never really have to worry about it. He fixed his hair, taking one last glance over his appearance. 

Maybe he’d finish unboxing everything. Marvin had told him to take a break, to relax, but it was hard to do that when the house was such a mess. That, and the idea of being here alone was making him feel almost nauseous. He sighed, deciding to start with boxes of clothes. He made the executive decision to take the bedroom with the bigger windows - it wouldn’t matter too much, he had a feeling they’d be sleeping together more than not, and that the other bedroom would end up being a guest room for if they had friends or family over. Plus, he liked waking up to the sun. Never early enough to see the sun rise, but early enough to see the sun itself. It was nice, it had always been a sliver of warmth in his otherwise cold, dull life. It wasn’t like that anymore, at least not right now, but it was still a nice reminder. No matter what was going on here, there was warmth somewhere. 

He took a deep breath in, turning away from the windows, and set to work. He made the bed, put clothes away in the closets and dressers. He went to the other bedroom and did the same thing. Next, he stepped back into the living room and surveyed the boxes that sat around on tables or on the floor against walls. Part of him felt like he should wait until Marvin gets home, that unpacking and rearranging should be a thing they did together, but there was a louder part of him that was screaming at him to do it anyway. If Marvin didn’t like the way something was placed, Whizzer would fix it. Hopefully, Marvin wouldn’t be too mad. 

Next up, the kitchen. Whizzer put away all the silverware and dishes and straightened the curtains over the windows. Next, he took some of the other boxes, labelled with Marvin’s name, into the room that would soon become Marvin’s office space. Right now, the only thing it held was a desk and desk chair that they’d gotten from Ikea a few days ago. Whizzer set the boxes on the floor instead of unloading them - it was Marvin’s things, Marvin’s office. He’d stay out of that stuff. He finished unloading things into the bathroom, into the living room, into the dining room - into any room that hadn’t been finished yet. By the time he finished, it was nearly one o’clock. Marvin would be home in about an hour. That meant that Whizzer had an hour of time left to kill on his own. 

Time hadn’t been much of a thought while he was cleaning and arranging and rearranging. Now, one of the only things he could think about was time. What time was it now? Not even a minute had passed. Still an hour left to go. Probably more than an hour, because Marvin only clocked out at two - he’d have to drive home. An hour and a half, probably. He said he’d be home before three, but he couldn’t know that for sure. What if there was traffic? Maybe he wouldn’t get home until four or five. If he wouldn’t be home until that late, should Whizzer cook dinner for him? What kind of foods would Marvin like? What kind of foods did they  _ have  _ right now? Not much, considering that they hadn’t made an official grocery run just yet. In that case he should order some kind of takeout, so that it would be there before Marvin got home. But what would Marvin want? 

Whizzer shouldn’t be worrying so much over every little thing, but he was.  _ What ifs _ raced through his head and, although he knew it was irrational, it felt almost like he couldn’t breathe over the sounds of them. He sat down against the wall and pulled his knees to his chest, closing his eyes. 

_ Fuck.  _

He was better now. Wasn’t he? He was  _ supposed  _ to be better now. He was with someone kind, someone who loved him and would let him love back. Someone who would take care of him, who reassured him, who held him. Except he  _ wasn’t,  _ not right now, and he couldn’t deal with it. 

He almost wanted to grab his phone and call Marvin, to ask him to stay on the phone with him until he got back home. That was stupid, wasn’t it? That was pathetic. Whizzer couldn’t even get through eight hours on his own without losing his shit? If Marvin knew that he was going to be like this, he’d probably leave. 

His breath came out even shorter. He recognized that he was hyperventilating, but he couldn’t get himself to do anything about it. He just sat there. His heart thrummed loudly in his chest, and he felt sick. 

He didn’t want Marvin to leave. Although the words had never once been said out loud by either one of them, Whizzer loved Marvin. He loved him so much that, genuinely, it was terrifying. Marvin didn’t say it, but he  _ showed  _ that he loved Whizzer, too. But there was so much of Whizzer that Marvin didn’t know about. How much of it would be too much? How much more did Marvin have to see before he realized he couldn’t stand Whizzer anymore? 

“Hey.”

Whizzer was pulled back into reality by the gentle voice, an even gentler hand on his shoulder. He almost pulled away, but he didn’t have the strength for it. When had Marvin gotten home?

“You’re okay,” he said. He’d abandoned his bag by the door, kneeling at Whizzer’s side. “Catch your breath then we’ll talk, okay?”

Marvin helped him do so. Breathe in, hold, out. They did that until Whizzer’s breaths were level once again. Marvin helped him up, helped him over to the couch, and they curled up into each other’s arms. 

“Sorry. I don’t know what happened,” Whizzer mumbled, only a partial truth. He knew what happened, but he wasn’t truthfully sure how it had escalated so much. 

“It’s okay. Sometimes it’s nothing, sometimes it just happens,” Marvin said. “You don’t know what caused it at all? Nothing worries you?”

He shrugged. Honesty was what was needed right now - he couldn’t expect things to go well if he just lied. The problem with that was that he’d spent  _ eleven years  _ of his life wrapped up in one huge lie and a habit of that long wasn’t easy to break. “I unpacked the boxes. I guess I was worried about the way that I decorated things.”

Marvin nodded. “Were you afraid that I’d get mad at you?”

Whizzer didn’t have an answer to that. Technically,  _ yes.  _ It was irrational and he felt stupid for feeling that way, but he did. So he kept it to himself. The problem was that the silence was a dead giveaway. 

“I’m not. I’m not mad,” he said. He brushed a strand of hair away from Whizzer’s face. “In fact, I’d fully planned to go with whatever you wanted to do for decorations and furniture layout. Just like I told you in Ikea, you have way more style than I ever will, you actually know what you’re doing. I’m just a blind follower. And for the record, what I’ve seen so far looks great.”

He returned Marvin’s smile with a small one of his own. “Are you just saying that because you don’t know what good interior decor looks like?”

Marvin laughed, rolling his eyes, “ _ No. _ I know what it looks like, I just wouldn’t know how to achieve it on my own.”

Whizzer hummed appreciatively, before wrapping his arms around the other man. “How was work? Tell me all about your day.” It was easy to be okay when he had distractions. He’d get workplace stories out of Marvin, then they could figure out how to spend the rest of their day. Probably ordering takeout and cuddling again, or something. Maybe they’d go on an actual grocery run. 

“It was good. Better than I’d expected,” Marvin answered, leaning into Whizzer’s embrace. Whizzer gently toyed with Marvin’s hair while he talked, describing what work he did and what his coworkers were like, the ones he thought would be fun and ones that were boring or annoying. To tell the truth, Whizzer wasn’t  _ completely  _ paying attention. He was listening to Marvin’s voice, and he gathered at least half of the information he was being told, but that was about it. 

Things were good again. He wasn’t alone, he was with someone he loved and someone who loved him. Any and all anxieties floated away, at least for the time being, as Whizzer rested his head on top of Marvin’s. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter didn’t turn out how i planned it to but i hope it’s okay anyway... today was kind of busy so i apologise for the late update!! 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter! lmk what you think! remember to go sign petitions, and have a wonderful day/night!
> 
> \- isaiah :)


	17. six hours

_not sure i’ve got the heart for this_

_maybe that’s the hardest part of this_

_‘lonely people’ - orla gartland_

  
  


* * *

  
  


They’d been fully living in their new house for a week. The second bedroom had gone unused thus far, which Marvin was neither surprised or upset by. He figured it would serve to be more of a guest room, if Cordelia and Charlotte ever came by and stayed over or for when Jason started staying on the weekend. Marvin wasn’t entirely sure what was keeping him from inviting Jason over. Maybe he was waiting for him and Whizzer to completely settle in, because there were a few things that were still a little odd, things they were still getting used to. A few pieces of furniture had moved around each day because neither of them could settle on the perfect places for them. Once things like that were taken care of, maybe then Marvin wouldn’t be so hesitant. There was also the fact that Marvin hadn’t even _introduced_ them yet. Actually, Whizzer didn’t know _any_ of Marvin’s family - well, technically Trina was a friend now. Regardless, he hadn’t met her, and she only knew a little bit about him. Maybe _this_ was the weekend for it. 

They were in the kitchen, eating breakfast. Whizzer was reading a book, turning pages in between bites of cereal and sips of coffee. He was up way earlier than he usually would be. Marvin had already started adjusting to the new work schedule, his internal alarm clock having woken him up at six. He stayed in bed, however, until around seven thirty when Whizzer woke up. It was almost eight thirty now. Late morning for Marvin, but still pretty early for Whizzer. Marvin picked at his toast, watching Whizzer for a moment. 

How would he even introduce him? ‘Friend’ seemed almost insulting, after everything they’d been through. ‘Boyfriend’ felt… right, but awfully official, and they hadn’t discussed that yet. Calling him a ‘roommate’ was the last thing Marvin would do. He turned his attention out the window, allowing his mind to drift for a moment. He knew things weren’t always going to be easy, but he never figured that something like _this_ was going to be on the more difficult end of things. He never even considered the possibility of having to do things like this until now. 

He felt Whizzer’s foot poke him from underneath the table. “You okay?” he’d lowered his book, looking directly at Marvin. He seemed significantly more awake now that he’d had his coffee. “You’ve been staring at the tree for like ten minutes.”

Marvin chuckled a bit, nodding. “Yeah, I’m alright. Just thinking.”

“Care to share with the class?”

That was probably one of Marvin’s favorite things about Whizzer. He was snarky and sarcastic more often than not, but somehow he managed to translate into genuinely caring. Had anyone else asked him the same question, it would’ve felt ingenuine and like they were only asking because they felt like they had to. It wasn’t like that with Whizzer. Sarcasm was just his default tone, and he made it work. 

“What class?” Marvin asked, glancing around as if he expected to see other people. 

Whizzer rolled his eyes, grinning, “ _Me,_ you jerk. Stop avoiding and answer my question. What are you thinking about?”

He leaned back in his chair, “Just… We’ve talked about having Jason come over sometimes for the weekends, but I realized you’ve never really met him. And when you meet him, you’ll probably have to meet Trina and Mendel too. I guess I was just trying to figure out when the best time to do that is.”

Marvin looked back over at Whizzer and watched as he seemed to consider the question. He wouldn’t be surprised, or upset, if Whizzer wanted to wait for a while. They still needed time to figure themselves out, to figure their house out- 

“What if we go visit them?” Whizzer suggested. “Like… you’re off this whole weekend. We could go over tonight and stay until tomorrow or something. Then we have time to meet each other, and you’d get to see Jason again.”

Although Marvin hasn’t expected it, nor had he even considered that idea, it was actually pretty smart. That way, if Whizzer and Jason didn’t get along for some reason, they could just leave - instead of Jason coming here and then everyone being miserable until they could either take him back home or until Trina could come pick him up. Not that he anticipated Whizzer and Jason to not like each other, but because thirteen year olds were weird and because Jason didn’t exactly like people that much anyway. 

“It’ll be a six hour drive,” Marvin said, thinking out loud. “We could meet up with them for dinner, or something. Are you sure you want to do this?”

Whizzer shrugged, bookmarking the page in his book. “Why not? It’ll happen sometime, may as well do it sooner rather than later.”

Marvin nodded. He was right. Again, the worst that could happen was that people wouldn’t get along and then he and Whizzer would return home. “Alright,” Marvin nodded, taking a sip of his coffee. “I’ll go call Trina and see if that works for her.”

  
  


***

  
  


“Dad’s coming home?”

“Marvin’s coming home?”

“Yes,” Trina answered as she returned to the table. They’d pretty much finished breakfast at that point, but they’d made it a habit to sit around after the fact and talk about plans. How they’d spend their day, what needed to be done, if there were any plans. They’d never done it before, but Mendel had suggested it and it ended up working out well for them. 

“Is he gonna stay with us?” Jason asked. This time, Mendel didn’t echo, but he looked to Trina in such a way that she knew he wanted to. 

“No,” she said. “I offered to let him stay, but he said something about just getting a hotel. He’s bringing friends with him.” 

“He has friends?” Jason queried. 

Mendel had to hold back a laugh, “Hey, be nice. I’m sure he has lots of friends, and I’m sure they’re all wonderful.”

This time, both Jason _and_ Trina gave him a look. Trina wasn’t saying that Marvin was incapable of making friends, but from what she knew about being in a relationship with him… let’s just say that it was difficult to picture. 

“Right. Whatever,” Mendel said, waving his hands. “When are they coming? Do we need to clean anything up?”

Trina twirled a piece of hair around her finger absentmindedly. “He’s six hours away, he probably won’t be here for a little while. He said he’d text when he got into the area, and asked if we’d like to meet up with them for dinner,” she said. “Jason, go tidy up your room, please?”

The kid groaned, “But you just _said_ that we were meeting him for dinner. We aren’t eating dinner in my room.”

“While you do have a point, it doesn’t matter because your mom said so,” Mendel said, reaching over to ruffle up Jason’s already messy bedhead. “Go on, tidy up. Last time I checked, it wasn’t all that messy anyway. It’ll only take you five minutes.”

For a moment, Jason looked like he wanted to argue. Then he sighed, as loud and and overdramatically as a thirteen year old boy should, and left the table to go clean his room. 

As soon as Jason was gone, Trina sighed. “I bet it’s the boy he told us about,” she said. “The boy he saved. The one he’s living with now.”

“Oh,” Mendel said, rubbing his forehead. “Okay. How are you feeling about that?”

“Not now, Mendel.”

“Huh?”

“You always go all… psychiatrist mode. Not right now.”

“Right… Okay. Sorry,” he murmured, folding his hands in front of himself on the table. The pair sat in silence for a moment, before he got up and started gathering the dishes from breakfast. He washed them, and felt Trina come up from behind as he was drying them and putting them away. 

She wrapped her arms around his torso, resting her chin on his shoulder. “I think they’re in love,” she said. “Marvin and his ‘friend’. I think they’re more than friends. And… I think I’m okay with that.”

Mendel put the last plate away, then turned around to face her. “Yeah?” he responded. 

She nodded, brushing a curly lock of hair out of his face. “I think that if he’s happy, and if the boy he’s with is nice, it’ll be okay. Hopefully Jason will be okay with it.”

“I’m sure he will be. If not, he’ll adapt. Not everything’s about him and what he wants, he’ll need to learn it eventually,” he shrugged, kissing her cheek. “It’ll be fine.”

While she knew he was right, it has always been hard for her to see it that way. Ever since Jason was born, Trina spent her time doing everything she possibly could think of to make him happy. It hurt to admit it, but she had kind of spoiled him. She spoiled him so much that it was almost neglectful, especially letting him stay inside and play games alone because he wanted to rather than having him go outside and make friends. It put a damper on his social skills, a damper on his relationships with people outside the family. It was because it was what he wanted, but in doing that, she deprived him of what he needed. Mendel was making amends with that, with making Jason join a little league team. Jason hated it, at least claimed to, but he was finally getting social interaction with people he wouldn’t have normally seen on a day to day basis. 

“Alright,” Trina agreed, with a soft sigh. “We should tidy up the rest of the house too.”

He nodded, “Are they coming over after dinner?”

“I don’t know. He didn’t say anything about that,” she said. “But I want to be prepared, just in case.”

While Jason tidied his room, which was probably more like kicking things underneath his bed and then scrolling through social media on his phone, Trina and Mendel set to work on cleaning the rest of the downstairs. Marvin probably wouldn’t care much, but Trina worried about his friend. What was the guy like? Marvin hadn’t said much, other than that he was sweet and was excited to move in with him, but she couldn’t imagine that he was as okay with mess as Marvin had been. Or maybe he was, and maybe the desperate efforts she and Mendel were putting into cleaning would be pointless. She sighed, glancing at the clock. They had six hours to get this place spotless. Mendel gave her a reassuring kiss on the cheek as he passed by her with fresh towels for the bathroom. 

Everything would be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRINDEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
> 
> sorry i just really love trindel and i don’t write them nearly as much as i should? but trina and mendel are so cute... one of the very few straight couples that have rights 🥰
> 
> anyway! next chapter will be FUN. in a bunch of different meanings of the word. 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this one! please do let me know what you think, i love reading your comments. as always, please take care of yourselves, sign petitions, and have a wonderful day/night!
> 
> \- isaiah :)


	18. tight knit family

_ take your time coming home _

_ forgive everybody _

_ ‘take your time’ - fun _

* * *

  
  


Long distance car rides were much more fun when Whizzer was around. To Marvin’s surprise, WHizzer didn’t seem nervous at all. He knew that if he were in Whizzer’s situation (about to meet his almost-but-not-boyfriend’s son and ex-wife and her husband), he’d be freaking out. They’d mentioned to Cordelia and Charlotte what they were going to do, and invited them to tag along. After a bit of conversation (and begging), the girls agreed to meet them there and the four of them split the cost for a hotel room. If anything, if things didn’t go well with his family, they could just see it as a weekend getaway with the lesbians. That was fun.

Okay, maybe Marvin was nervous. One of them was bound to be, but he hadn’t expected it to be himself. He sighed to himself, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as they were stopped at a light. Three hours in, roughly three more to go. For a Saturday in New York, traffic surprisingly wasn’t very bad at all. Whizzer kept changing the radio station after nearly every song, claiming that it was trash and that Marvin needed to get an aux cord so he could play good music. He was right though - the radio-friendly pop songs that played nowadays weren’t nearly as good compared to the music he grew up surrounded in. It did make him curious as to what kind of music Whizzer listened to, but just as he thought to ask, the light turned green. He started driving again.

“What’s he like?” Whizzer asked, after a while. He had his window down, wind blowing through his hair. Marvin liked the way he looked with messy, windblown hair. 

“Who?”   
  
“Jason.”

Marvin had to think about it for a moment. It was a little bit of a loaded question. Marvin didn’t know the kid as well as he wished he did. Maybe this would help.  _ Hopefully  _ this would help. He hoped there was some kind of magic about being with someone you actually loved versus someone you were pretending to love that would make it easier to talk with his son. Maybe Jason would avoid him less. Maybe… it would make things worse.

Whizzer waved a hand at him playfully, “Hello? Are you in there?”   
  
“Yeah, sorry,” he murmured. “Thinking. He’s, uh, a good kid? He’s funny sometimes, usually when he isn’t really trying to be. I… wasn’t the best father to him. I don’t know him as much as I wish I do. I don’t know him as much as I  _ should _ .” 

He hummed, curious. “Now’s your second chance,” he said after a moment. “You can make it up to him. We’ll have a good time meeting each other tonight, and maybe you can do something special with him tomorrow. The girls and I can keep ourselves occupied while you and Jason go do something.”

Marvin shrugged, “Or, maybe, you and the girls could tag along when we do something tomorrow. I’m gonna be real with you, Whiz, I have no clue what I’m doing. I don’t know how to be a good dad. I  _ want _ to be a good dad, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to start, or how, or-”

Whizzer reached over and took one of Marvin’s hands, lacing their fingers and giving it a gentle squeeze. “You’re overthinking it,” he said. “Just be you. Act the way you do around me - although, considerably less romantic. You’ll figure out how to adapt your relationship with him overtime, but for now just let it come naturally. Obviously, I’m not a parent, but that’s what I wish my parents would’ve done with me, you know?”

He gave a little nod. It made him curious as to what Whizzer’s parents were like, but now wasn’t the time to ask. He returned the squeeze, keeping his eyes on the road. “And if that doesn’t work…?” 

“It  _ will,  _ hon. I promise,” he said. He leaned in and left a quick kiss on Marvin’s cheek, and Marvin felt a few worries lift off of his chest. 

The topic dropped, for now. Instead, they ended up talking about things they could do with Jason tomorrow. Parks, movies, malls, somewhere to eat - they couldn’t decide, so they ended up agreeing that it should be left to the kid. Maybe he’d be more willing to go out and do something with his absent dad and three stranger friends of said dad if he got to choose what they did. 

After what felt simultaneously like forever and no time at all, they met up with Cordelia and Charlotte at the hotel. It wasn’t nearly as nice as the one Marvin stayed at in NYC, but it would do the job for one night. The four of them headed inside, claimed their beds (which was more or less Whizzer and Cordelia fighting over which couple got the bed by the windows), and then Whizzer and the girls congregated on one of the beds to talk while Marvin texted Trina. He let her know that they had arrived in the hotel, and that any restaurant was good as long as she, Mendel and Jason picked. Once he received the text with the address to a pizza joint, with no doubt in his mind that Jason had the privilege of picking, Marvin gathered up Whizzer and the girls and they headed out. 

They decided on carpooling, since it seemed easiest. Charlotte ended up sitting in the front with Marvin, because Cordelia had something she needed to tell Whizzer about and they didn’t want to shout across the car. Letting them sit together in the back, though, was just like watching two teenagers gossip. It was funny and charming, though - watching two adults in their late twenties gossip like a pair of sixteen year olds. Marvin had no clue what they were talking about and upon asking, he found out that Charlotte didn’t either, but it didn’t matter. They were happy, and that’s all that mattered. Marvin kind of forgot about just how extroverted Whizzer was until he saw him out with other people - he made a mental note to make sure that Whizzer got out more when they returned home, because the lack of contact with people was probably playing some kind of role in his anxiety.

He pulled into the parking lot of the pizza place. It was surprisingly empty, leaving the four of them to hang out in the car and enjoy each other’s company for a few minutes until they ended up seeing Trina’s mom van drive up and park beside them.

  
  


***

  
  


Jason was not excited.

Well, actually, he wasn’t  _ sure  _ how he felt. He wasn’t excited to be getting out of the house, but at least he’d get pizza out of it and the pizza at this place was pretty good. If Marvin had made friends in the little time that he’d been gone, there were two options to explain what had happened: one, Marvin’s friends were just like him and this was going to suck, or two, Marvin had changed and his friends were actually pretty cool and maybe this would be fine. He supposed, maybe, that there was a third option - maybe Marvin  _ hadn’t _ changed but his friends were similar to how Trina had been and stayed friends with him anyway. Or maybe, fourth, they were friends with him because they pitied him. Or-

“Come on, kiddo,” Mendel said, smiling back at him. They’d arrived. He’d been too lost in thought to pay attention to that. “Let’s go meet your dad and his friends and get some pizza.”

Trina had already gotten out of the car and, as Jason looked out the window, she was talking to Marvin. Marvin, who had  _ three _ friends with him. Jason expected one, perhaps two, but not three. That was a lot of people. He sighed but got out with Mendel, trudging behind him. He never thought he’d end up saying this, but he liked having Mendel around quite a bit. His parenting style was different from both his mom and dad, but he liked them - for the most part. Obviously, there were things about your parents that you weren’t  _ supposed  _ to like, but it seemed like he disliked less about Mendel than he did both Trina and Marvin. Not that he’d ever say it out loud. 

Marvin said hi, and asked if he could have a hug. Jason wasn’t sure he wanted to hug, but he did it anyway. Make the adults happy that way this could be over sooner and he could get back to reading. When they pulled away, he introduced his friends - Whizzer was the other guy, a blonde named Cordelia and her brunette fiancée was named Charlotte. They all seemed nice enough, Jason supposed. 

He followed the adults inside. Mendel hung back to the back of the group with him, bumping his shoulder slightly. “Cheer up, yeah? This isn’t the end of the world. Just a few hours and then we can go back home, probably,” he said.

Jason glanced up at him, “You don’t want to do this either.”

Mendel sputtered a bit, before sighing and waving his hands. He had a habit of doing that - Trina always joked that Mendel’s hands spoke more than he did, which was already quite a lot. “Okay, maybe I don’t,  _ but  _ I’m doing it anyway and I’m keeping a good attitude about it,” he finally said. “You should do the same. Sometimes you don’t get what you want, and you gotta deal with it.”

He considered that for a moment, before nodding. “Okay. I’ll try,” he said.

They ended up in one of the big booths. Jason sat on the inside, next to Mendel. Marvin was directly across from him, sitting next to his three friends. Not very much conversation was made just yet - everyone was ordering drinks and then deciding what pizzas to order and how many orders of breadsticks they’d need. Finally, once everything was ordered and they waited for it to be made and brought out to them, Mendel decided to start a group conversation. “So,” he said, successfully getting all eyes on him. “Let’s get to know each other! I’ll start. My name is Mendel, I’m a psychiatrist and an avid lover of coffee.” 

Everyone stared at him. Whizzer glanced over at Marvin, then met gazes with Jason. He smiled at him, before turning back towards Mendel. “Hi, Mendel,” he started, almost like they were at some kind of an AA meeting. “I’m Whizzer and, no offense, I think this is a really weird way to get to know each other in the middle of a pizza place.”

Cordelia cracked up, swatting at Whizzer’s arm playfully. She tried to apologize on behalf of him, saying something about him just being a sarcastic piece of trash, but she was laughing too hard to say it. Regardless, Jason thought it was funny. He already decided that maybe this wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be - that maybe Whizzer and Cordelia were pretty cool. 

“He’s right, Mendel,” Jason piped up. “Why don’t we just get to know each other through normal conversation?”

It made Cordelia laugh harder, and Whizzer grinned at him. Jason returned a small smile. This wouldn’t be too bad after all. 

  
  


***

  
  


Although bewildered, Marvin was incredibly glad that Whizzer seemed to know how to talk to children. Marvin himself was at a loss - he kept trying to think of things to say, but then stopped himself because he knew they were all too boring. They’d been at the pizza place for almost an hour now, and he’d only managed to talk to Jason if it was a topic that Whizzer had brought up that he was actually knowledgeable on. For the most part, however, Jason and Whizzer had hit it off right away. 

He supposed that he didn’t really mind just sitting back and listening, though. Whizzer and Jason were talking about baseball. The lesbians were in a conversation with Trina and Mendel, something about working in different types of medical fields, what they liked and disliked about it - Charlotte and Mendel did most of the talking, but Trina and Cordelia were intent listeners. Marvin just sat back and ate his pizza.

“You know, you’re dad and I were talking about possibly stealing you away for the day tomorrow,” Whizzer told Jason, picking at his breadstick. “Maybe we could go out somewhere and practice? I played baseball when I was in high school and, not to brag, I was the star player. I kind of miss it, actually. Once you figure out what you’re doing, it’s lots of fun.”   
  
Jason nodded quickly, swallowing his bite of pepperoni pizza before speaking up, “Yeah! I wish you guys lived closer, I want you to come to my baseball games. Especially when you help me get better, I wish you could come watch us win.”

Whizzer shook his head, “Kid, we’re only a few hours away. We’ll make the drive to come see your baseball games.”

“Even if I just lose?” He asked, scrunching his face up a bit. “Wouldn’t that be a waste of your time?”

“Even if you lose. It’ll never be a waste of time, because every game is important. You can’t win if you don’t lose sometimes, you know?” Whizzer said. He dropped the remnants of his breadstick back onto his plate. “You have to start somewhere. Even the best players in the  _ world  _ lose sometimes. Everyone does. If you don’t learn to lose, you can never learn to win.”

Marvin just stared at Whizzer for a moment. How did he learn to say things like that? Was it something he came up with on his own? Did he hear it from someone else? Regardless, how did he know to say it now? He looked over at Jason - the kid was smiling, eyes lit up with excitement. He’d never seen the kid look this happy before. 

“Yeah, okay,” he said, nodding. “So you’re really gonna come to every game?”   
  
Whizzer grinned at him, “Of course, kiddo. We’re basically family now, that’s what family does. You let us know when your games are, and we’ll be there.”

Jason looked between the two of them for a moment - the first time he’d so much as even glanced in Marvin’s direction since the topic of baseball had come up - before looking back at Whizzer. “Are you guys dating?”

A surge of panic went through Marvin, and he could tell that Whizzer was having a similar reaction. Neither of them really knew what to say. Luckily for them, they didn’t  _ have  _ to answer just yet because all attention was immediately turned over to Mendel, who had somehow managed to spill his soda all over the front of his sweater and his plate of pizza. “Whoops,” he mumbled, which was the only thing he had to say for himself.

It sent Cordelia into another bout of laughter, while Charlotte and Trina fumbled for napkins. 

Maybe Marvin’s friends fit in better than he, himself did. Maybe he wasn’t too upset about that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW this one was kinda chaotic, wasn't it? it was fun to write though, and i hope you found it fun to read!!
> 
> just a little announcement, this fic is getting pretty close to being over! i've also started a new one, it's going to focus a lot on our favorite Gays - and it's a farmer au! those are fun! if you're interested in checking it out, the first chapter went up last night! it's called "buy the farm" and i have lots of fun ideas for it! 
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoyed! please do let me know how you feel, i always love reading your comments :')   
> have a great day/night and please sign some petitions! the men who killed breonna taylor still haven't been arrested. 
> 
> \- isaiah :)


	19. baseball

_ we played baseball _

_ how i tried, but i struck out so many times _

_ but then once i hit the ball and it sailed over the fence _

_ i felt my gut all fill up with pride _

_ ‘sunnyland’ - mayday parade _

* * *

  
  
  


Marvin had never felt more bored yet proud in his entire life, and it was an  _ extreme _ oddity. He was bored, because baseball was easily the most boring sport on the planet, but proud because he was watching his almost-boyfriend teach his son how to play it. Cordelia and Charlotte were helping, too - by throwing balls for Jason to try and swing at and by standing behind him to catch them. They had a nice little assembly line going on, which Marvin could appreciate, but he did feel pretty useless by just sitting there and watching. He offered encouragement every few minutes, but he felt like it was going unnoticed.

Whizzer stood directly behind Jason, helping him correct his stance and showing him the correct placement of his hands on the bat. Cordelia was in front of them, a few feet away, and she threw them the ball. When Jason (inevitably) missed the ball, Charlotte caught it and threw it back to Cordelia. Marvin said something like “you got this, kiddo,” and then the whole thing started over again. 

He let his mind drift for a moment, as he watched and pretended to be interested. He thought about what Jason had asked them last night.  _ Are you guys dating? _ He thought about the panic that had surged through him, and that had seemed to surge through Whizzer. He thought about how, after Mendel made a mess of himself and the table, they all ended up returning home and to their hotel. He and Whizzer hadn’t talked about it last night, and they didn’t have the time to start talking about it today. Jason had called at eight in the morning - Marvin was awake, but everyone else hadn’t been. They’d been in the field since nine, and it was nearly twelve by now. It was a thing they really did need to talk about, but he wasn't sure when they’d end up getting to that point. Soon? Later? Never?  _ Soon _ would be the best, because it was better to find out intentions now rather than later, but  _ never _ seemed like the easiest option. 

Did he want to date Whizzer? After a moment of brief consideration, he decided that the answer was yes. Yes, absolutely, he would love to date Whizzer. He loved Whizzer quite a lot, much more than he’d ever loved anyone before. But the problem, now, was whether Whizzer shared the same feelings. Did Whizzer love him too? If so, was it a romantic type of love or was it platonic - or, hell, was it sexual only? Surely it wasn’t sexual, because they hadn’t done anything of the sort in a while and Whizzer was still here. Unless it was some kind of  _ friends with benefits _ type of situation. 

He came back to reality as a ball soared right above his head. Upon closer inspection, Whizzer was the one who threw it. Cordelia was cackling, and both Jason and Charlotte wore a big grin. “Told you I have good aim,” Whizzer said to Jason, before smiling sweetly at Marvin, “Hi, I said your name like fifty times and you didn’t hear me. We’re getting lunch to take a break. Want to come, or are you going to continue sitting here and sulking?”   
  
Marvin chuckled softly, “I’m not sulking. I was just thinking.” But nonetheless, he stood up and followed them away from the diamond.

“Dee, Jason and I are taking Charlotte’s car,” Whizzer announced. “You and Char ride in yours.”

Charlotte gave him a look, “Are you kicking me out of my own car?”   
  
“Sorry, sunshine. We love you but we have important, top secret stuff to talk about,” Cordelia said, stepping closer and kissing Charlotte gently. Both Whizzer and Jason simultaneously made a gag noise, then grinned at each other in surprise. 

God, maybe introducing his almost-boyfriend to his son wasn’t a good idea - this whole  _ twins from The Shining _ thing was a little bit terrifying. They spoke briefly, deciding to go to some drive in hot dog joint, then split up.

Charlotte hopped into the passenger’s seat of Marvin’s car, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. “Your kid’s cute,” she said, as Marvin pulled out of the parking lot to follow the other three. “He’s a real sweetheart. He and Whizzer get along scarily well, but it’s sweet.”

“Thanks,” Marvin smiled, glancing at her briefly before returning his eyes to the road. “Do you know what they’re planning on talking about?”

“You. Obviously,” she said, looking over at him. “They probably just wanted me to ride with you so you weren’t lonely.”

He nodded. Seems legit. He couldn’t help but to be curious about what  _ specifically _ they were talking about, but curiosity killed the cat and Marvin was almost positive that if he asked any one of them, they wouldn’t tell him anyway. “Okay,” he said. There was a brief pause, before he added on. “Well, since they’re talking about me, let’s talk about them. More specifically, Whizzer.”

“Yeah,” Charlotte agreed quickly. “It’s about time we talk about this. What’s going on with you two? You’re basically dating, but not officially?”  
  
Marvin took a breath, then shrugged. “Yeah? I guess?” he offered. “I don’t know. I think- well, I _know_ that I’d like to date him. I love him, you know? But I don’t know how he feels about me. And especially with him just having got out of that relationship, and the way it still bothers him sometimes-”  
  


She cut him off, patting his shoulder, “Marvin, honey, he definitely loves you too. This is a discussion that you two need to have on your own, but I think getting him into a new relationship is a  _ great _ way to help him heal. As of now, the only longterm boyfriend he’s never had has been a complete piece of shit. You need to show him that not everyone he dates will be like that.  _ You _ won’t be like that.”

He considered the words for a moment, and knew that she was right. In fact, he remembered reading something similar to that online - that forming new, healthy relationships was an excellent way to begin and continue emotional and mental recovery. Their relationship, although not yet labeled, was amazing. There was love and trust, and they had fun with it. It wasn’t anything like what he’d had with Alec, and Marvin would never let it get anywhere close to as bad as that. Arguments were bound to happen, but Marvin would never lay a finger on Whizzer and they would always make sure to talk it out and apologize. This relationship was…

He pulled into the spot next to where Cordelia had parked. “Think about it, okay? Dee and I can go find something to do when we get back to the hotel tonight if you want,” Charlotte told him, before getting out of the car. Marvin sat there for a moment before following suit.

  
  


***

  
  


“So… you  _ aren’t  _ dating?” 

“No,” Whizzer answered with a sigh. “I guess, not technically. Theoretically? Yeah. But-”   
  
Jason groaned. This was getting stupid to him, and he felt like the solution was very obviously hanging right in front of their faces, “Just ask him out already! He obviously loves you, too. He was practically drooling over you when you swung the bat that one time.”   
  
Whizzer did not know which  _ one time _ Jason was referring to, but it was flattering regardless. “Any person attracted to men rightfully would’ve been, that doesn’t mean anything,” he answered, waving a hand. 

Cordelia snorted, but rolled her eyes. “The kid’s right, Whiz. You may as well just make it official. You’ve told us that you love him, and Marvin is very obviously in love with you too. Just-”   
  


“Shh! They just pulled in, they can probably hear you. I want French fries.”   
  
Whizzer got out of the car. Avoidance. He was entirely too good at that.

Jason tapped Cordelia’s shoulder from the back seat, stopping her from following Whizzer out. “I betcha Dad was drooling about Whizzer again in the car. I bet Charlie had to listen to him talk about how pretty Whizzer is the entire ride.”   
  
She laughed, “Most definitely. Come on, hot dog time!”

The group of five got out of their cars, placed their orders, and sat at a picnic bench to eat. The food was subpar, and Whizzer promised Jason that he and Marvin would someday take him to a real baseball game someday so that he could try the stadium hot dogs. “They are the  _ best _ hotdogs you will ever try. Not that hotdogs are great food in general, but if you’re gonna get one, go to a baseball game,” he said. Cordelia and Jason sent each other a playful glance when he mentioned Marvin’s name, and Whizzer looked almost ready to fight them. Somehow, Marvin didn’t seem to catch it. Charlotte, Cordelia and Jason, however,  _ didn’t _ miss any of the subtle flirty gay subtext in the way that Marvin and Whizzer spoke with one another.

  
  


***

  
  


Back at the baseball diamond. This time, Whizzer had insisted Marvin help. Marvin didn’t have the slightest clue on what he was doing or how he was supposed to help, but he did his best. He mostly just stood in the back with Charlotte, ready to fetch the ball if -  _ when _ \- Jason missed it. That was quite a lot. He’s never gotten as much physical activity as he did that day, running after the ball and tossing it back in Cordelia’s direction.

“It’s all you now, buddy,” Whizzer said, stepping away from Jason. “You know the stance. I’m not going to guide you anymore.”   
  
“What?” Jason asked, lowering the bat. “But I can’t hit it even  _ with _ you guiding me!”

He nodded, “Mhm, that means that maybe I’m the problem, yeah? Three tries, okay? Just like in real games. Three strikes, then you're out. If you don’t hit it on the third try, I’ll try guiding you again.”

The kid stared at him for a moment, before sighing and obliging. He corrected his stance, held up his bat, and looked to Cordelia as he waited for her to throw the ball. She did.

Once. A miss. Whizzer called strike one, and Charlotte threw Cordelia the ball.

Twice. Another miss. Whizzer called strike two, and this time Marvin retrieved the ball.

Third time.  _ Crack! _

“Yes!” Whizzer cheered as the ball soared over the fence. Jason had closed his eyes, but when he opened them, he looked over at Whizzer with a look of both extreme surprise and extreme pride. “I  _ told you _ that you could do it,” Whizzer said to him. Jason dropped the bat and ran at Whizzer with a huge hug.

Marvin didn’t understand baseball at all, and didn’t quite care to, but seeing his son get all excited like this over something that his to-be (?) boyfriend taught him made it all worthwhile. He supposed that it would be a good idea to get better at pretending to be interested in sports.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOAH! one more chapter left, my guys! 
> 
> i love jason so much wtf. i don't write him very much but like... i need to do that more wowie.
> 
> i hope you liked this chapter!!! the last chapter will probably be out either tonight or tomorrow! i hope tonight but also i have like five open houses to go to tonight so like we'll see lol. please let me know what you think!
> 
> have a great day/night!
> 
> \- isaiah :)


	20. fin

_ what about these feelings i’ve got? _

_ i couldn’t be more in love _

_ ‘couldn’t be more in love’ - the 1975 _

  
  


* * *

It was almost eight o’clock by the time they’d dropped Jason off with his mother and Mendel and returned to their hotel. “Charlie and I are going to go shopping,” Cordelia had said, the two of them lingering in the doorframe. Marvin didn’t think much of it until he glanced at Whizzer, who was looking at his best friend in a way that very much so said that he was going to commit murder. Cordelia, however, wasn't phased. She smiled at them, “Be back in a few hours! Have fun doing whatever it is that two gay men in a hotel room alone together would do.”

  
They disappeared, closing the door behind them. Whizzer dropped himself onto one of the beds with a loud sigh. The room was silent.

Marvin wasn’t entirely sure what that was about but, after remembering his conversation with Charlotte, he had a few ideas. He sat down on the bed with Whizzer, leaning against the headboard. “You’re  _ really _ good with Jason,” he complimented, after the silence had gotten to be too much. “Like, incredibly. He’s never smiled like that before.”

He looked over at Whizzer, who still laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling. He was smiling now, though, instead of glaring with murderous intent. “He’s a real sweetheart. I’m almost sad that we live so far away,” he responded. 

“We’ll still see him on weekends,” Marvin said. “I think he’ll definitely want to come over. Even if it’s just to see you.”

That made Whizzer laugh. “Right,” he said, sending a glance Marvin’s way. 

Marvin smiled at him. “He  _ will, _ I’m telling you. He’ll come over only to breeze right past me and hug you.”

It fell quiet again. There was an elephant in the room, and both of them knew what it was, but neither one of them were willing to address it. At least, not at first. Minutes passed, and Whizzer was finally the first one to speak. “We got lucky, didn’t we?” he asked. When Marvin looked over, quizzingly, he was looking up at the ceiling again. “That Mendel spilled his soda all over himself.”

Marvin nodded slowly. “Yeah, I guess we did,” he answered. He picked at the hem of his shirt. “Jason’s probably not going to let it go until he gets an actual answer, though, so… Are we? Dating, I mean.”

He could hear Whizzer’s breath hitch slightly at the question. Even if he’d expected the topic to come up, the question still caught him off guard. Marvin could relate to that. “I…” he started, and stopped. Marvin waited. Whizzer sat up, turning and facing him. “I love you. I do. And I’d love to make our relationship official, but…”

“But…?”

Whizzer’s gaze fell downwards, brown eyes staring holes into the blankets on the bed. “I guess… I’m scared?”

Marvin nodded. “That’s okay,” he assured him. “And I love you too. Quite a lot, actually. Would you, um… Would you be willing to give it a shot? If not, it’s okay, and we don’t have to date if you don’t want to, but-”

“You’re cute when you ramble,” Whizzer said, looking back up at him for a moment. They sat there in silence, just looking at each other. Whizzer took a break. “Okay. Yeah.”

“Yeah? Yeah, we’re dating, or–?”

He laughed a bit, nodding. “As long as it’s what you want, too.”

Marvin smiled. He probably looked like a dork, but he didn’t really care. “Of course.”

  
  


***

  
  


Marvin had been right - Jason  _ did _ ask again. And he did come over primarily for Whizzer. 

Trina had dropped him off the next Friday, a bit after Marvin returned home from work. Jason has said a brief hello to Marvin, and immediately hugged Whizzer and started telling him about something that happened at school. It hurt, just a little, but it also made Marvin happy to see the two of them getting along. They went out and played baseball that afternoon, then grabbed dinner afterwards. That was when the big question popped up. 

“You never did answer my question,” he said, dunking a fry into his cup of ketchup.  _ “Are _ you guys dating?”

“Yeah, kiddo. We’re dating,” Marvin answered, glancing Whizzer’s way. 

“Gross,” Jason said. After he swallowed the fry, he shrugged. “At least that means that Whizzer’s part of the family, though.”

The rest of the weekend went well, too. They stayed home and watched movies and played video games together on Saturday, and then tried baking together the next day. Trina picked him up on Sunday afternoon. 

Weeks flew by, and things fell into habit. Whizzer ended up getting a job as a photographer, which he fell in love with, so that he’d have things to do while Marvin worked during the week. Weekends were free, spent with Jason. As Whizzer had promised, he ended up taking Jason to a  _ real _ baseball game - Marvin tagged along, but nearly fell asleep. Jason got better at baseball as Whizzer helped him and, although he still lost every game they went to, he seemed to be doing better and having more fun. 

His relationship with Marvin evolved, too. As the weeks went by, Marvin had chances to actually talk to and spend time with Jason. The two became closer, although never as close as Jason was with Whizzer, and Marvin never thought he’d be happier. 

The lesbians finally had their wedding. Jason was the ring bearer, Whizzer took on the role of the so called “flower girl” (and did it in possibly the most dramatic, sarcastic,  _ Whizzer-esque _ way possible) and Marvin ended up being the best man. Trina and Mendel were invited to the ceremony, too. 

Speaking of which, they  _ also _ got married. The lesbians, Marvin and Whizzer were just audience to that one, but it was still fun. It was especially fun when Mendel had, somehow, managed to stain his white suit with a piece of chocolate cake. 

Marvin and Whizzer didn’t marry - at least, not _yet_ \- but Whizzer did convince Marvin to let him get a cat. It was a grumpy thing that only seemed to like Whizzer and absolutely no one else, and Whizzer insisted on calling it Melvin. As much of a stab to his own name as it felt, Marvin allowed it.

Things settled into smooth, wonderful habits. Although everyone still had some adapting and healing of their own left to do, all seven of them were finally in safe environments and surrounded by people who loved them enough to help them do so. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that’s the end!!!
> 
> thank you all for joining me on this ride! it was fun writing this, and i hope you all enjoyed reading it! as always, please do let me know how you felt! i know i mentioned it a few chapters ago, but my next project is a farmer whizzer/city boy marvin au and the first chapter is already up, so if you’d like to keep updated with my writing, that’s where i’ll be!
> 
> thank you again, so so SO much!! i love you all! ❤️
> 
> \- isaiah :)


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